tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80795552024-02-27T22:08:54.558-08:00TheMikeTursiWelcome to Turzman CentralThe Turzmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06632376880619221640noreply@blogger.comBlogger269125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-34553314987634895242017-11-10T13:24:00.000-08:002017-11-10T13:24:22.968-08:00Forgive My Tardiness, Msr. Bravo<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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After watching ESPN's 30 for 30 on Ric Flair this week I felt nostalgic for the pro-wrasslin I adored in my youth. I was dumb-founded when I stumbled upon news regarding the death of Canadian strongman Dino Bravo back in 1993. The passing of an ex-wrestler sadly, is commonplace however the circumstances regarding Bravo's death are as shocking as they are tragic.<br />
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And it happened almost 25 years ago and I had no idea.<br />
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I found the following posted on grunge.com ~<br />
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After years of employment throughout the '80s, Dino found himself on the outs with the WWF by 1992. According to fellow wrestler and friend Rick Martel, he simply didn't fit into Vince McMahon's plans anymore, so he was released. Bravo, with no savings and no knowledge of anything other than wrestling, got into organized crime through his uncle and joined a cigarette smuggling ring based in Quebec. Less than a year later, on March 10, 1993, he was dead, 17 gunshots riddled all over his body. Martel believes a cocaine smuggler blamed him for cops showing up during a would-be deal between the two markets, and Bravo suffered the consequences of running afoul with the mob.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-84180673416435900022017-05-10T11:55:00.002-07:002017-05-10T11:55:26.901-07:00We Lost a Great One TodayThis one hurts, A LOT.<br />
I can't imagine what <i>Red State</i> would have been like without him, or all those Tarantino flicks he did, for that matter.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-5758692939662812802017-05-07T12:04:00.000-07:002017-05-07T12:09:07.281-07:00Pennies Really Grind My Gears<div style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "open sans", helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15.5px; line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 1.5em;">
<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="color: white;">[Author's note: I ripped this from <a href="http://www.kiplinger.com/slideshow/business/T057-S001-7-things-that-will-soon-disappear/index.html" target="_blank">kiplinger.com</a>. So please, hold your plagiarism accusations.]</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">I like Abraham Lincoln as much as anybody but sweet-FRIGGING-jesus-</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">A penny for your thoughts isn’t much of a bargain these days. Not only is a penny worth less than ever thanks to inflation, but the cost of minting each Lincoln has been more than its face value for almost a decade.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Canada, Australia, New Zealand and other countries have deep-sixed their smallest coin, <span style="box-sizing: border-box; font-weight: 700;">but the U.S. penny endures, as the U.S. Mint continues to churn out millions per year</span> to replace the coins vanishing into change jars, vacuum cleaner bags and your car's floorboards.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">Noted economists and the editorial pages of major national newspapers and journals continue to call for the penny’s retirement. But it has been years since anyone in Congress made a bid to kill the penny. One reason: While penny opponents are a diverse bunch, one group that’s deeply interested in its continuance is the zinc industry (a penny is actually 97.5% zinc and only 2.5% copper). And yes, Washington has a penny lobby, in the form of Americans for Common Cents (which is largely funded by zinc manufacturers).</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">But it's not just lobbyists. As an article in the <i style="box-sizing: border-box;">Harvard Political Review</i> put it, Americans' "general apathy and resistance to change" is also keeping the penny around.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">-</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: white;">{As a smoker I find it offensive that tobacco lobbyists can't keep cigarette prices below larcenous levels but the all too powerful Zinc Lobby can keep this worthless coin afloat. It costs more to mint a penny than they're actually worth. Its obscurity is long overdue.}</span></div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-3433091775819571982016-11-27T12:08:00.000-08:002016-11-27T13:44:27.483-08:00The Bacon Experiment<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mmmmm, bac- wait. Is that water?</td></tr>
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My friend Eddie <a href="http://awm.com/ive-made-bacon-a-ton-of-ways-but-after-seeing-his-method-ill-never-make-it-another-way-again-2/" target="_blank">posted this link</a> on Facebook and it seemed an interesting and simple experiment to try. It's an unusual way to cook bacon, essentially boiling it rather than frying it in the pan. This process renders the fat without over-cooking the meat.</div>
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Personally I <b>can't stand</b> crispy bacon where one bite breaks the strip into many little pieces, and the flavor has a slight hint of <b>charcoal.</b> Reduced cooking time always left a floppy, chewy piece that while preferable to crispy, still left something to be desired. I've ever been able to find that elusive happy medium until now.</div>
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Place the bacon as you normally would in a regular frying pan. The best part is you won't need to melt butter or add cooking spray because the bacon won't stick to the pan afterwards. Add just enough water to the cold pan to where the strips are barely submerged. Set the flame to <i>high</i> and wait for the water to come to a rolling boil. You will see the fat begin to render before the water boils.</div>
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At this point reduce the heat to <i>medium</i> and let it simmer until all the water evaporates. It was here that I made my lone mistake..</div>
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It seemed to me that there was too much water in the pan so I dumped some of it before reducing the heat. To my surprise the water evaporated <b>much quicker</b> than I thought it would at medium heat so the bacon was a bit <b>undercooked</b> by the time the water was gone. So don't make the same mistake I did and I'll tell you why in a minute...</div>
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Once the water is completely evaporated reduce the heat again, this time to <i>medium-low</i> and cook it to taste. You will be able to find any meat consistency you prefer because you don't need to worry about rendering any more fat.</div>
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Due to my error in water management, I had to leave the heat on higher than necessary to cook the bacon and what happened was a lack of consistency in my strips. The middles were just a bit too crispy for my liking whereas the ends were fatty and floppy. Otherwise I think this would be the best way to cook bacon save for one, <b>very</b> important factor; the bacon flavor was in a word, <b>weak.</b></div>
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I guess there's something to be said about cooking bacon in its own fat and this morning's experiment proved that theory. Rendering fat in water <b>dilutes</b> the grease to a point where there is not as much grease to drain and what grease there is has a distinctly <b>lighter</b> color than normal bacon drippings. Since the flavor is the whole point of eating bacon in the first place I <b>cannot</b> recommend this process unless you are closely watching your fatty intake.</div>
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In all candor I will try this again and more closely adhere to the recommended process but I don't see that affecting the flavor all that much.</div>
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If you have cooked bacon in this manner, or plan to try, please share in discussion over at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/themiketursi/" target="_blank">The Mike Tursi Facebook page.</a> </div>
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Before signing off, I must address a concern brought up by my friend and semi-regular contributor, <b>Pornocat</b> who felt I wasn't posting enough pictures of sexy women. So here is a gallery featuring two of my favorite things; girls and guitars. Enjoy...</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Internet addict <b>Pornocat</b> says, "Meow-WOW! I was worried you maybe lost interest in girls, Turz. Meow."</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-51289819593581766622016-11-20T12:33:00.001-08:002016-11-20T13:40:27.755-08:00The More You Know...<h2 class="body-text__paragraph-header" style="box-sizing: inherit; color: #055371; font-family: Poppins-Bold, Helvetica-Neue-Bold, Helvetica, "Gill Sans", Arial-Bold, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 22px; font-stretch: normal; font-weight: normal; letter-spacing: -0.025em; line-height: 30px; margin-bottom: 0px; padding-top: 0px;">
<span style="background-color: black;">What's the difference between Tequila and Mezcal?</span></h2>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpcKBhrFFYSSc8N9zG66omlHhqtEqb41EIJKgtd0TqbdF9BptKFDkJxESwKlgohMrGVbfbyGUHG3y-2-Y4WBeGmy-zdI5aAjlPzRma4VZ0EXLvKMpQ9RQ5BwT3LojTtuREo9bJXQ/s1600/tequila-weight-loss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpcKBhrFFYSSc8N9zG66omlHhqtEqb41EIJKgtd0TqbdF9BptKFDkJxESwKlgohMrGVbfbyGUHG3y-2-Y4WBeGmy-zdI5aAjlPzRma4VZ0EXLvKMpQ9RQ5BwT3LojTtuREo9bJXQ/s400/tequila-weight-loss.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<span style="background-color: black;"><span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #646464; font-family: , , , "helvetica" , , "arial" , sans-serif;">Contrary to popular belief, </span><a href="https://www.supercall.com/spirits/mezcal/mezcal-101" style="box-shadow: rgb(228, 65, 43) 0px -2px 0px inset; box-sizing: inherit; color: #013042; font-family: Merriweather-Light, Domine-Regular, Helvetica-Neue, Helvetica, Arial-Regular, Arial, sans-serif; outline: none; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px 2px; position: relative; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word; word-wrap: break-word; z-index: 1;" target="_blank">mezcal</a><span style="color: #646464; font-family: , , , "helvetica" , , "arial" , sans-serif;"> is not a type of </span><a href="https://www.supercall.com/spirits/tequila/tequila-101" style="box-shadow: rgb(228, 65, 43) 0px -2px 0px inset; box-sizing: inherit; color: #013042; font-family: Merriweather-Light, Domine-Regular, Helvetica-Neue, Helvetica, Arial-Regular, Arial, sans-serif; outline: none; overflow-wrap: break-word; padding: 0px 2px; position: relative; text-decoration: none; word-break: break-word; word-wrap: break-word; z-index: 1;" target="_blank">tequila</a><span style="color: #646464; font-family: , , , "helvetica" , , "arial" , sans-serif;">. In fact, it’s the other way around. Tequila is a type of mezcal that can only be made in Jalisco, Mexico from the blue agave plant. Mezcal, on the other hand, can be made anywhere in Mexico from various types of agave. Mezcal is smokier than tequila since the agave piñas are roasted, instead of steamed, before they are crushed. </span></span></span><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Would you eat the worm?</td></tr>
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #646464; font-family: , , , "helvetica" , , "arial" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Have you eaten the worm? Let us know how it was, share at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/themiketursi/" target="_blank">TheMikeTursi Facebook page.</a></span></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: black; color: #646464; font-family: , , , "helvetica" , , "arial" , sans-serif;">.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-14382980649981198972016-11-06T18:18:00.000-08:002016-11-06T18:18:27.472-08:00Apple Infused Vodka, D.I.Y.Why pay extra for flavored vodka when you can make your own? It's a simple, do-it-yourself procedure called <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infusion" target="_blank">infusion</a> and all you need, really, is a little patience.<br />
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For starters, determine what type of alcohol you want to flavor and with what. Vodka is deemed the best for this as it has no natural odor or flavor. With <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appletini" target="_blank">appletinis</a> having exploded onto the millennial trend table I figured I would try it first with a personal fave, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Granny_Smith" target="_blank">Granny Smith,</a> or green apples.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib_ubZGJQq-kB4n56XasmM-gSxxcK0z3xS3bg7ga0z6J5f7g-h4yKtNDSJQaSJCe1m5GjO5twDCp6YuZ18DajP6SKXXYFDtxkqgoHqNoo8txnkxjdlqbWgtdzxRae4OoFKtrScuw/s1600/7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib_ubZGJQq-kB4n56XasmM-gSxxcK0z3xS3bg7ga0z6J5f7g-h4yKtNDSJQaSJCe1m5GjO5twDCp6YuZ18DajP6SKXXYFDtxkqgoHqNoo8txnkxjdlqbWgtdzxRae4OoFKtrScuw/s400/7.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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For the first step all you need besides the vodka and two, fresh apples is an air-tight <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mason_jar" target="_blank">Mason jar.</a> That's the kind that your grandma used when she made her home-made jelly. It <b>must</b> be air tight or else this whole exercise is futile.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiLJeJlXf5y6ds5O1krGlRHBdoMJ9vTMb1b85bJOh6u1iAZH-It3Fvpl0Gpa4kv5ulsGzGBq0zH_7yP6-462XbmIGXArL-OGF20BVy_f225AcnljGAPgolKL7l4JtbRfN8VrLJxA/s1600/8.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiLJeJlXf5y6ds5O1krGlRHBdoMJ9vTMb1b85bJOh6u1iAZH-It3Fvpl0Gpa4kv5ulsGzGBq0zH_7yP6-462XbmIGXArL-OGF20BVy_f225AcnljGAPgolKL7l4JtbRfN8VrLJxA/s400/8.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Cut the apples into bite-sized pieces and for God's sake <b>don't cut yourself!</b> If you're clumsy get someone else to do the chopping for you. I will <b>NOT</b> be held responsible if you lose some digits.</div>
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Place the apple chunks into the mason jar and add vodka, like so...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUh4OO_sh-SO-pHIAgr70eGVZo5kBWhnA9r-XQFaNdvFoGLyeq0WrmNOoCefN0em78iwnSOv5F7KLPCrrdSrgcPiDHCqDqbVz7t3XNwELjlBsw0UtSXYF014QPEaImDWIVufdJfQ/s1600/9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUh4OO_sh-SO-pHIAgr70eGVZo5kBWhnA9r-XQFaNdvFoGLyeq0WrmNOoCefN0em78iwnSOv5F7KLPCrrdSrgcPiDHCqDqbVz7t3XNwELjlBsw0UtSXYF014QPEaImDWIVufdJfQ/s400/9.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Again, if you're clumsy this is another point when you should ask for help pouring. We may not cry over spilled milk but you should burn in Hell if you waste high-end vodka. Yes, I consider Stolichnaya to be high-end. Stolies is my favorite vodka and in case you're wondering why use good hooch for infusion, the better the booze the better the end product will taste. Period, stop.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSKBvW-fUK2Af1p0kOQ2aCikmhC8sfwnN6LujD3X3x1YyxRzBnUxsW-Yjx9F0FN6CGsW6lWmmJkkVqga2S8Aploja0B2_2rhPTN9ClOdxHhXl4H3a1DXHN8N0QM2-5LsIC02_NZw/s1600/11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSKBvW-fUK2Af1p0kOQ2aCikmhC8sfwnN6LujD3X3x1YyxRzBnUxsW-Yjx9F0FN6CGsW6lWmmJkkVqga2S8Aploja0B2_2rhPTN9ClOdxHhXl4H3a1DXHN8N0QM2-5LsIC02_NZw/s400/11.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Seal the concoction in the mason jar and I cannot stress enough the importance of an air-tight seal. Slightly shake the jar to ensure the seal. If some liquid bleeds out, change the jar <b>immediately.</b></div>
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Here's where the patience comes into play. Let the jar sit at room temperature for three (3) to five (5) days and keep it away from direct sunlight. Twice a day shake the jar slightly to stir up the contents. Stagnancy will lead to poor infusion and weak flavor.</div>
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Spend the next few days finding a store that sells <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cheesecloth" target="_blank">cheesecloth</a> because you need it to strain the medley of booze and fruit.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYTKoY5I-cuDQdj3Mne9VfXEuqnWnfyYsNCb3vurX4NCfQbe9Erxi12kKjijCSJjtjZs3xfBDUmq5dFyHahCJaJ_ji_aMC5fq2acZAk3xkpEdhTBfTDF98YO4MdearCXoQfvcY4Q/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYTKoY5I-cuDQdj3Mne9VfXEuqnWnfyYsNCb3vurX4NCfQbe9Erxi12kKjijCSJjtjZs3xfBDUmq5dFyHahCJaJ_ji_aMC5fq2acZAk3xkpEdhTBfTDF98YO4MdearCXoQfvcY4Q/s400/1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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In all candor I bought cheesecloth at a Food4Less so you should be able to find it at any unsuspecting grocery store. You'll also need a spaghetti strainer, a funnel and a large pitcher. The cocktail mixing glass is optional but <b>way cool.</b> No household is complete without a mixer.</div>
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Line your strainer with the cheesecloth and poor the contents in. Let it sit and drain all liquid through the cloth. Don't waste a drop. During this time your instincts to eat some of the apple may kick in. <b>Do not succumb to this temptation!</b> The chunks won't be mushy but they will taste horrible.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-HMVJdpK-7I3Q9Gotx_6Hzr_fJkPYixJahzf1gnQ4VITDfTzhbsFfJXXvWKDINAK0i4A6LAdXQF83AnWfzrrAAGTycZIW1KoFmugpOYBpsGYah9ZLGbKrK9zFWOaEJWL-Bf8Xw/s1600/2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7-HMVJdpK-7I3Q9Gotx_6Hzr_fJkPYixJahzf1gnQ4VITDfTzhbsFfJXXvWKDINAK0i4A6LAdXQF83AnWfzrrAAGTycZIW1KoFmugpOYBpsGYah9ZLGbKrK9zFWOaEJWL-Bf8Xw/s400/2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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At this point you'll notice the formerly clear vodka has obtained a greenish hue. <b>This is normal.</b> It only means that infusion has occurred, which was the whole point of this.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrRA_RAZlb0_GlAkZ4ZGdQ3ooSXNehD6Q5yn7_GPlny6mCK3_qUVIeXc95zmkUvlma_S9nS10Yupy2SJqOnBLNLtHL91VxjzUYEm7zTmj6qKCmj6QNvxCD4GPNUGzLQ25Etv1x2g/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrRA_RAZlb0_GlAkZ4ZGdQ3ooSXNehD6Q5yn7_GPlny6mCK3_qUVIeXc95zmkUvlma_S9nS10Yupy2SJqOnBLNLtHL91VxjzUYEm7zTmj6qKCmj6QNvxCD4GPNUGzLQ25Etv1x2g/s400/6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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Using the funnel pour your newborn apple vodka into the original bottle. Unless you plan to drink it all in one night, you f*cking lush.</div>
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If you don't own a mixing glass, I suggest at this point putting the bottle in the fridge for this will taste better chilled, in my opinion. But if you <i>do</i> own a mixer...</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdr9hXe5OZotMLLaTKEPSS-iU1rdpp3RVNAekvAyj0b3_e-DUOVBiH6azwuoZQMoorBjr-GTdf0BimiRgswofUzAoWdxU9cweCTuYxIZpVHIUSYw60KisjHWaMOhzjXpMx-0K70w/s1600/3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdr9hXe5OZotMLLaTKEPSS-iU1rdpp3RVNAekvAyj0b3_e-DUOVBiH6azwuoZQMoorBjr-GTdf0BimiRgswofUzAoWdxU9cweCTuYxIZpVHIUSYw60KisjHWaMOhzjXpMx-0K70w/s400/3.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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...pour some ice in that bad boy, add your juice and shake it, baby. Strain it, sans the ice into a chilled, standard <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cocktail_glass" target="_blank">Cocktail glass.</a> Or you can be like me and add a drop of dry <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vermouth" target="_blank">Vermouth</a> to make it an apple-flavored <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vodka_Martini" target="_blank">popular twist to the classic Martini.</a> </div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi91G1VUIhlHL71414N1w98TxUm1xssI2bMyT1mVM2qQ0tZ5QXJRbeCbZkNAg_zSfwpEclqG1JY49C7TfXyz9Eatz26NlEpzwjuxLF4XZpbDPrAGAOUKBPBacAxqEGFB1p8rOQsOg/s1600/4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi91G1VUIhlHL71414N1w98TxUm1xssI2bMyT1mVM2qQ0tZ5QXJRbeCbZkNAg_zSfwpEclqG1JY49C7TfXyz9Eatz26NlEpzwjuxLF4XZpbDPrAGAOUKBPBacAxqEGFB1p8rOQsOg/s400/4.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>"Cheers everybody!"</i></td></tr>
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<span style="text-align: left;">You can infuse almost any combination of fruit, herb or spice into any alcohol. Some popular combinations are gin with cucumber, or bourbon with mint. Personally, my next experiment will be red apples and cinnamon with vodka. I'm told when mixed with hot water it makes one </span><b style="text-align: left;">heck</b><span style="text-align: left;"> of a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_toddy" target="_blank">Hot Toddy.</a></span></div>
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Do you have any Adventures in Infusion you'd like to share? Engage us in discussion at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/themiketursi/" target="_blank">The Mike Tursi Facebook Page.</a> </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUMFvgX93V51gVtPVJUJaKRdDTiphNBHui2b8E14K7RPpjUYFCuv8Vr0MX031hgJ32bLJoiV89ffCxbi_pPXhGk2htA4odR2ZS29NAre23aw-pYtrx9kLBIzKfdDFMWePPb-rkwQ/s1600/gamera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUMFvgX93V51gVtPVJUJaKRdDTiphNBHui2b8E14K7RPpjUYFCuv8Vr0MX031hgJ32bLJoiV89ffCxbi_pPXhGk2htA4odR2ZS29NAre23aw-pYtrx9kLBIzKfdDFMWePPb-rkwQ/s1600/gamera.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "I made up a drink. Add Tabasco to Cinnamon Schnapps. I call it Atomic Fire Breath. I named it after my atomic fire breath.</td></tr>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-37777356370116164822016-02-25T13:09:00.003-08:002016-02-25T13:09:57.240-08:00Pardon My Duck<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0rkOsnzkzWIqqlT4pEbZMB2orYZsvhWK8TG517xZbGlJJzsp07bbKHA_DW9dxmd_Tx6DzK8qhP-hdxJEN-E208x8QwnvfEle6tHYxG9WPz9G8WDTCZWDdhXE_QKnTzKKUwWjFw/s1600/duck1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgs0rkOsnzkzWIqqlT4pEbZMB2orYZsvhWK8TG517xZbGlJJzsp07bbKHA_DW9dxmd_Tx6DzK8qhP-hdxJEN-E208x8QwnvfEle6tHYxG9WPz9G8WDTCZWDdhXE_QKnTzKKUwWjFw/s400/duck1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with a duck on his head.<br />
<br />
The shrink, understandably befuddled, mulls the scene in his head and asks,<br />
<br />
"Is there something I can help you with?"<br />
<br />
The duck replies, "Yeah, Doc. Help me get this guy off my ass."<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyM4eb07BY68KHdkrK656BbqNsrcLC7Pazxn-vlLBOYM_BhkUpe9inRs0H4mG6-sR8fu3ySFZlzQQNLBMs0lzQrsmXN1-7UCl2yB1My-AdLSS8UOCsMtToUD018PRjvAq8E6XO6g/s1600/gamera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyM4eb07BY68KHdkrK656BbqNsrcLC7Pazxn-vlLBOYM_BhkUpe9inRs0H4mG6-sR8fu3ySFZlzQQNLBMs0lzQrsmXN1-7UCl2yB1My-AdLSS8UOCsMtToUD018PRjvAq8E6XO6g/s200/gamera.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "<i>My Favorite Year.</i> 1982. Great motion picture."<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-38664061505205975762016-01-31T14:10:00.000-08:002016-01-31T14:10:30.892-08:00Scene from a Car DealershipSo I went to a car dealership the other day...<br />
<br />
Me: I'm in the market for a used car.<br />
Salesman: We have a wide selection of certified, pre-owned vehicles.<br />
Me: What does that mean exactly, "certified, pre-owned vehicle?"<br />
Salesman: It means we certify that the vehicle was previously owned by another person.<br />
<br />
Brief pause...<br />
<br />
Me: So you have a wide selection of used cars?<br />
Salesman: Yeah, they're used cars.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWXneHcWu6ECFT2K94qPeG7aEWxOwvbzRuBk6EsBFAcZtkcPFz8Y5kpyHO8A8PJhAr2Y9mfCBIG_5GUm2Vi-zMqTLlfBfkR2I8lVDGIo-cGGwEb7bceRj__dbDCpqr1JwafHkLg/s1600/gamera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmWXneHcWu6ECFT2K94qPeG7aEWxOwvbzRuBk6EsBFAcZtkcPFz8Y5kpyHO8A8PJhAr2Y9mfCBIG_5GUm2Vi-zMqTLlfBfkR2I8lVDGIo-cGGwEb7bceRj__dbDCpqr1JwafHkLg/s1600/gamera.jpg" /></a></div>
Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "Tursi has gone through another months-long stretch of not posting blogs. It happens so often that we no longer assume he's dead after a few months of down time."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-7116742809126991092015-10-18T14:53:00.000-07:002015-10-18T14:53:41.663-07:00Sexual Innuendo in 3...2...1Excuse me while I <b>plug</b> myself ~<br />
<br />
Turzman Central wouldn't be a mothership without its protectorates.<br />
<br />
On Facebook I can be found at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/themiketursi" target="_blank">TheMikeTursi</a>.<br />
<br />
Also check out our Facebook sister page, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sacrebleuhumor" target="_blank">Sacre Bleu Humor.</a><br />
<br />
Send a shout over to <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/490201457808601/" target="_blank">The Black Lung Radio Show</a> for all the latest in the punk rock scene.<br />
<br />
The <a href="http://b-masters.com/" target="_blank">B-Masters Cabal</a> is the best place for obscure film reviews.<br />
<br />
<br />
For those of you on Twitter and Instagram my handle for both is @isruTekiM<br />
<br />
Check out the content and share with your friends. Help me build an e-Empire.<br />
Participants will all win no-prizes.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv_wrlTPgTTB4HHGDBKC8Q-4pdZWDLzW_lmsmiUOykQNemcFA1r_cA9TuZjTu4W45kHIIKLur_Hx7OQEGmU7X-htsRZrFXm8Zxda_joShDRtAsfvBt5nWyYuQ4t4nDDFDqlAAzlw/s1600/catporn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhv_wrlTPgTTB4HHGDBKC8Q-4pdZWDLzW_lmsmiUOykQNemcFA1r_cA9TuZjTu4W45kHIIKLur_Hx7OQEGmU7X-htsRZrFXm8Zxda_joShDRtAsfvBt5nWyYuQ4t4nDDFDqlAAzlw/s200/catporn.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Internet addict <b>Pornocat</b> says, "I don't get it. Where's the sex? Meow."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-35119476993645432662015-10-15T15:52:00.000-07:002015-10-15T15:52:45.522-07:00Godzilla vs King Kong May Happen Again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhno8yKaM8HLvqtSXQqEtAtnXjihF-irPXAJhijA2U2CNtFcaK2le1U4ESCt6LpcYZXGYoKuV3PiWEDaSRUQjRRsxtJgs33py8cydQqyOZqB0n8yuyAyflq66qnSme9EHXTmI5w/s1600/Godzilla-vs-King-Kong.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZhno8yKaM8HLvqtSXQqEtAtnXjihF-irPXAJhijA2U2CNtFcaK2le1U4ESCt6LpcYZXGYoKuV3PiWEDaSRUQjRRsxtJgs33py8cydQqyOZqB0n8yuyAyflq66qnSme9EHXTmI5w/s400/Godzilla-vs-King-Kong.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
For the few of you who felt Ishiro Honda's original <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0056142/?ref_=nv_sr_5" target="_blank">1962 face-off</a> between the two most iconic monsters in <b>MovieLand</b> needed a face lift, your wish may be granted. Warner Bros. owns the rights to Godzilla's latest incarnation and the Kong reboot has recently been shifted to the Warners from Universal. Studio heads love cross-overs, so the thought of sprinkling <i>Kong: Skull Island</i> with tie-ins from 2014's <i>Godzilla</i> has them creaming their pants. (FYI- those tie-ins are rumored to be Ken Watanabe reprising his role, and the Monarch organization making appearances in the new <i>Kong</i>).<br />
<br />
Patience will have to be a virtue, though, as GZ vs KK won't come until <b>after</b> <i>Skull Island</i> <b>and</b> <i>Godzilla II</i>, which is rumored to feature Rodan, Mothra and King Ghidora. The biggest losers of this scenario are the fans eagerly awaiting <i>Pacific Rim II</i>, which was slated to start production in November, 2015. Warner Bros. has definitely pushed Guillermo del Toro's <b>jaeger</b> epic to the back-burner based on weak domestic returns despite having made oodles of money overseas.<br />
<br />
Not only that, Warner Bros. also announced that they have fast-tracked production on <i>Jurassic Park V</i> (aka <i>Jurassic World II</i>), meaning <i>Pacific Rim II</i> will have to wait in line behind four, count 'em, <b>four</b> big-budget, big-monster movies before even getting a sniff of pre-production.<br />
<br />
For more info check out <a href="http://nerdreactor.com/2015/09/20/godzilla-vs-king-kong-may-have-killed-pacific-rim-2/?utm_source=zergnet.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=zergnet_709004" target="_blank">this article at</a> nerdreactor.com ~<br />
<br />
For further discussion I'd love to see your thoughts about this posted over at <a href="https://www.facebook.com/themiketursi" target="_blank">TheMikeTursi Facebook Page.</a><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KjyFa3onUuSYNTiA0X_CALHR3FVo4Af5u_mLnrNfcMB5xMY0bDelGWn4kQupWH7R672fPppcjZXf1TmHrs1N-tPzGM6b_k-oeCCd3kN8Kg358ZST5kubFDDT3e_IMDupR8WPhw/s1600/gamera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1KjyFa3onUuSYNTiA0X_CALHR3FVo4Af5u_mLnrNfcMB5xMY0bDelGWn4kQupWH7R672fPppcjZXf1TmHrs1N-tPzGM6b_k-oeCCd3kN8Kg358ZST5kubFDDT3e_IMDupR8WPhw/s1600/gamera.jpg" /></a></div>
Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera </b>says, "Does anybody even remember <i>my</i> movies?"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-25428268083732469322015-03-14T23:14:00.001-07:002015-03-14T23:14:12.099-07:00Code of the SithPeace is a lie.<br />
There is only passion.<br />
<br />
Through passion I gain strength.<br />
Through strength I gain power.<br />
Through power I gain victory.<br />
Through victory my chains are broken.<br />
<br />
The Force shall set me free.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-51159577690634397132015-02-18T21:19:00.000-08:002015-02-18T21:19:05.649-08:00"Alien 5" - It just might happen!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEVyfNAF4E93wHoeWThEWIxcB1vCZIYTY8nBOTG3QVJTSTfQILY6mzWST-Pm2RmZEoh0uv6b357M_29dfYnairkvJy9DzoJh_pQfsdBlsiiTPjrQpFYKFSoJH0dCLYHPYDGieZNg/s1600/ripley.alien.5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhEVyfNAF4E93wHoeWThEWIxcB1vCZIYTY8nBOTG3QVJTSTfQILY6mzWST-Pm2RmZEoh0uv6b357M_29dfYnairkvJy9DzoJh_pQfsdBlsiiTPjrQpFYKFSoJH0dCLYHPYDGieZNg/s1600/ripley.alien.5.jpg" height="258" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
I must be coming out of some mild form of coma. Only today, I found out <i>Chappie</i> director Neill Blomkamp has a full-on <b>boner </b>for doing an <i>Alien</i> sequel. To my surprise, according to <a href="http://bloody-disgusting.com/news/3332209/sigourney-weaver-ready-final-alien-battle/" target="_blank">this article</a> I accidentally stumbled upon, Sigourney Weaver is open to a potential <i>Alien</i> boner of her own.<br />
<br />
It doesn't hurt that Weaver's co-starring in <i>Chappie</i> and Blomkamp has access to her ear on a daily basis, but to be fair the guy seems to be a die-hard fan of Ellen Ripley's adventures and has been tinkering with some concept art on his own for months. Fox Pictures says they're on board, but who knows?<br />
<br />
Personally, I'm not impressed with Blomkamp's work. <i>District 9</i> was not great, teetering somewhere between good and okay. <i>Elysium</i> was horrible and nothing about <i>Chappie</i> appeals to me. On a positive note, an <i>Alien 5</i> <b>can't possibly be worse</b> than Ridley Scott's putrid excuse for an <i>Alien</i> prequel. Read my critique of <i>Prometheus</i> <a href="http://turzman.blogspot.com/2012/06/shame-on-you-ridley-scott.html" target="_blank">here.</a><br />
<br />
If you want to chime in, this discussion can continue on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Mike-Tursi/127231304040327" target="_blank">my Facebook page.</a> If you don't care either way, kiss a dick and keep scrolling.<br />
<br />
Toodles.<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvRDzaG0Od73OTGxn_9qehaatmSw-6dSd3CL4jNaA1ibuTrdAOkpEgDdhFC3RF-cmBcb0mCZdx_zk_k2K9lkhpZX_FXvPTHz9yXD3c3tN3fo38Ps1vyVxUcHKj5b7MVgJl8W8l3A/s1600/gamera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvRDzaG0Od73OTGxn_9qehaatmSw-6dSd3CL4jNaA1ibuTrdAOkpEgDdhFC3RF-cmBcb0mCZdx_zk_k2K9lkhpZX_FXvPTHz9yXD3c3tN3fo38Ps1vyVxUcHKj5b7MVgJl8W8l3A/s1600/gamera.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "Tursi has a Facebook page? So do I!"<br />
<br />
Click <a href="https://www.facebook.com/pages/Gamera/33105737596" target="_blank">here</a> for the Gamera Facebook page. Don't tell them I sent you.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-2079278022220904182015-02-17T15:56:00.000-08:002015-02-17T15:56:17.929-08:00"Birdie, Birdie"Birdie, Birdie in the sky<br />
Why did you do that in my eye?<br />
<br />
I sure am glad elephants don't fly.<br />
<br />
<br />
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Internet addict <b>Pornocat</b> says, "WTF? Meow?"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-62221404932901175672014-12-18T11:04:00.000-08:002014-12-18T11:04:03.826-08:00'Twas the Night Before X-Mas<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">'Twas the night before Christmas, and one thing was clear-</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">That old yuletide spirit no longer was here;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Inflation was rising; the crime rate was trippling;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The fuel bills were up, and our mortgage was crippling;</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I opened a beer as I watched the TV,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Where Donny sang "O Holy Night" to Marie;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The kids were in bed, getting sleep like they should;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Or else they were stoned, which was almost as good.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">While ma with her ball-point pen was making a fuss</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">'Bout folks we'd send cards to who'd sent none to us;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"Those ingrates," she thundered, and pounded her fist;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"Next year you can bet they'll be crossed off our list!"</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">When out in the yard came a deafening blare;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">'Twas our burglar alarm, and I hollered,"Who's there?"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I turned on the searchlight, which lit up the night,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And, armed with my handgun, beheld a strange sight.</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Some red-suited clown with a white beard immense</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Was caught in our eight-foot electrified fence;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">He called out, "I'm Santa! I bring you no malice!"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Said I, "If you're Santa, I'm Telly Savalas!"</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">But, lo, as his presence grew clearer to me,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I saw in the glare that it just might be he!</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I called off our doberman clawing at his sleigh</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And, frisking him twice, said, "I think he's okay."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I led him inside where he slumped in a chair,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And he poured out the following tale of despair;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"On Christmas eves past I was jolly and chuckling,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">But now 'neath the pressures, I fear I am buckling."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"You'll note I've arrived with no reindeer this year,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And without them, my sleigh is much harder to steer;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Although I would like to continue to use them,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The wild life officials believe I abuse them."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"To add to my problem, Ralph Nader dropped by</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And told me my sleigh was unsafe in the sky;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I now must wear seatbelts, despite my objections,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And bring in the sleigh twice a year for inspections."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"Last April my workers came forth with demands,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And I soon had a general strike on my hands;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I couldn't afford to pay unionized elves,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">So the missus and I did the work by ourselves."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"And then, later on, came additional trouble-</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">An avalanche left my fine workshop in rubble;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">My Allstate insurance was worthless, because</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">They had shrewdly slipped in a 'no avalanche' clause"</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"And after that came an I.R.S audit;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">The government claimed I was out to defraud it;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">They finally nailed me for 65 grand,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Which I paid through the sale of my house and my land."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"And yet I persist, though it gives me a scare</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Flying blind through the blanket of smog in the air;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Not to mention the hunters who fill me with dread,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Taking shots at my sleigh as I pass overhead."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"My torn-up red suit, and these bruises and swellings,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">I got fighting muggers in multiple dwellings.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And if you should ask why I'm glowing tonight,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">It's from flying too close to a nuclear site."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">He rose from his chair and he heaved a great sigh,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And I couldn't help notice a tear in his eye;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"I've tried," he declared, "to reverse each defeat,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">But I fear that today I've become obsolete."</span><br />
<br style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;" />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">He slumped out the door and returned to his sleigh,</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">And these last words he spoke as he went on his way;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">"No longer can I do the job that's required;</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">If anyone asks, just say,'Santa's retired!'"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifvL2-eOqh-fS2cPUpkpoQ8XEBatP8eFLUHivyYnuSHUUA1NerECAT-pUrbWTvkOqMc-7f65pPz3zep8Ja8LqUANI6d59larsOuxKTofk7LWG5APiPNijTDnoz_foF7rrCfWPYkA/s1600/gamera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifvL2-eOqh-fS2cPUpkpoQ8XEBatP8eFLUHivyYnuSHUUA1NerECAT-pUrbWTvkOqMc-7f65pPz3zep8Ja8LqUANI6d59larsOuxKTofk7LWG5APiPNijTDnoz_foF7rrCfWPYkA/s1600/gamera.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "This parody was originally published in <i>Mad Magazine</i> in the winter of 1981, in case you're wondering who the hell Donnie, Marie and Telly Savalas are."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: #fafafa; color: #333333; font-family: Verdana, Arial, Tahoma, Calibri, Geneva, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;"><br /></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-4330871134757983952014-12-16T12:13:00.002-08:002014-12-16T12:13:57.320-08:00Mets Hot Stove Analysis, Part IIIUntil the Mets make any more moves this will be the final installment of my opinions regarding the New York Mets hot stove movement this winter. Click the hotlinks in case you missed <a href="http://turzman.blogspot.com/2014/12/ive-been-silent-for-too-long-mets.html" target="_blank">part I</a> or <a href="http://turzman.blogspot.com/2014/12/mets-hot-stove-analysis-part-ii.html" target="_blank">part II</a>.<br />
Today I'll discuss pitchers and catchers.<br />
<br />
To the catchers-<br />
<br />
Only because this is the simplest when you understand that this is Travis d'Arnaud's job to lose with the caveat being he <b>needs</b> 2015 to be his breakout year. His backups are Anthony Recker and Taylor Teagarden (in that order) and neither have shown me they can be a starting catcher for any organization. Both are serviceable as backups so it is crystal clear that d'Arnaud will be <b>the guy</b> squatting behind the dish, and expectations are high, to be sure.<br />
He's being handed the most promising pitching staff in the majors, so his game-management skills shouldn't be put to too great a test. The challenge defensively will be to keep base runners in check and I think d'Arnaud should be aggressive. I'd like to see him, early on, show that he is NOT afraid to pick off runners and throw to first base often. Take those chances and get in the minds of potential base stealers. The mental edge he could grab would be <b>huge,</b> and anything less than 35% of base runners caught stealing would be unacceptable. Ideally I'd like that number closer to 40% but that's asking d'Arnaud to be <b>elite.</b> To me, Travis d'Arnaud is the most exciting player the Mets have defensively because his potential is tremendous and he's right at the point in his career where he should be starting his <b>prime.</b><br />
Offensively d'Arnaud needs to be more than just consistent, he needs to be a <b>force,</b> and by force I mean clutch. Naturally we want a catcher to flirt with 30 home runs and 100 rbi's, but I would be content with doubles in the alleys and singles to right with runners on first. The power numbers don't need to be high for d'Arnaud to be clutch and protect his mates in the lineup.<br />
<br />
To the pitchers-<br />
<br />
Only the Mets can have too much of a good thing. To most teams, excessive starting pitching is generally a gold mine of chips to play with but the Mets moved <b>nobody</b> in exchange for an impact player. The Mets have <b>six</b> seasoned, league-proven quality starters. Throw in Rafael Montero and Noah Syndergaard and that makes eight, count 'em, <b>eight</b> chips to play with. None moved during the winter meetings.<br />
GM Sandy Alderson <b>says</b> he was shopping Jon Niese, but really the only public knowledge was he tried to dump Dillon Gee solely to get his $5 million paycheck off the books. A salary dump? With nothing in return? And there were <b>no takers???</b><br />
Like I said, only the Mets. (sigh) Here is my projected rotation:<br />
<br />
Matt Harvey (r)<br />
Bartolo Colon (r)<br />
Jon Niese (l)<br />
Zack Wheeler (r)<br />
Jacob DeGrom (r)<br />
<br />
Odd men out: Dillon Gee (r), Noah Syndergaard (r) and Rafael Montero (r).<br />
<br />
I put Niese at number three only because he is the sole southpaw in the mix and I want at least one lefty throwing every five days. Montero has shown (in albeit limited exposure) that he is perhaps NOT the superstar the rumors led us to believe. Syndergaard has not even pitched at the major league level yet and Gee, I feel, can be on any starting rotation in the league.<br />
To some degree it would make sense to go as far as spring training with the status quo because despite the potential, these starting five have some questions to be answered. To wit;<br />
How will Harvey bounce back from Tommy John surgery? Will Colon win 15 games again? How bad will (NL rookie of the year) DeGrom's inevitable sophomoric slump be? Can Wheeler elevate himself to be the number two or three guy? Will Niese even be on the team come spring training?<br />
If any of those questions are answered in the negative, the Mets will need the odd men out to step up and fill in the blanks, but what to do in the meantime?<br />
<br />
I just don't know.<br />
<br />
I think Sandy Alderson showed great restraint in not making a trade for the sake of making a trade. I'm <b>ecstatic</b> that he did not trade for Troy Tulowitzki. But it's disturbing to think he was willing to throw away Gee purely to dump salary. I hope Alderson is slyly lying in the weeds waiting to pounce on an <b>All-Star caliber</b> shortstop made available via trade. The reality of that happening is nil, but is he looking to further upgrade the bullpen? That makes for a great segue...<br />
<br />
To the bullpen-<br />
<br />
Why, oh WHY did the Mets not try to bring in Andrew Miller? It's bad enough he signed with the crosstown Yankees but the Mets did not even enter the <b>sweepstakes!</b> Alderson has been saying for months that they were looking for a lefty to join Dana Eveland in the bullpen and there was Andrew Miller, courting suitors. Yet the Mets showed no public interest. If anything happened behind closed doors, nobody's talking, but Met fans sure would have liked to think we were in the hunt for a guy that is as effective against righties as lefties.<br />
Could you imagine Miller joining a bullpen that boasts a back end of Jeurys Familia and Jenrry Mejia (two proven closers) and Bobby Parnell (another proven closer) returning from Tommy John surgery? Boys and girls, that's the 6th, 7th, 8th AND 9th innings <b>LOCKED DOWN!!!</b><br />
It hurts just to think about what could have been.<br />
Instead Eveland, who is <b>hardly</b> lights-out, by the way, is being complimented by the re-signing of Scott Rice (coming off an injury), untested Sean Gilmartin whom they snatched up via the <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_5_draft" target="_blank">Rule 5 Draft,</a> and Josh Edgin who, like a venereal disease, just won't go away. Those are the lefties. What of right-hander Carlos Torres? He has shown value in long relief and as an emergency spot-starter. Is he out of the mix thanks to the logjam at the end of the starting rotation? It doesn't seem fair.<br />
The only certainty of the bullpen is Gonzalez Germen won't be there as he was designated for assignment over the weekend.<br />
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In conclusion, the Mets are banking on a bunch of guys with abounding question marks. Who rides the bench will depend upon how many pitchers they decide to bring out of spring training. They did not tender a contract to the speedy Eric Young, Jr so he's gone despite being a stolen base threat and being able to play second base as well as corner outfield.<br />
The big picture begs even more questions. Assuming this group can win 90 games, is that enough to win the NL East? Consider what the rest of the division is doing...<br />
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Fans should be terrified of both Washington and Miami. The Nationals seem to be in an all-or-nothing mindset, putting all of their chips on the table now, considering how many of their key players become free agents after 2015.<br />
The Marlins have been <a href="http://espn.go.com/mlb/team/transactions/_/name/mia/miami-marlins" target="_blank">very active this offseason,</a> trying to build a winner around Giancarlo Stanton and that crazy extension he signed last month.<br />
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Let's not forget about those pesky Atlanta Braves. Are you sleeping on them? I'm not. They are the cockroaches of the NL East. Come September you may not think they're around, but turn on the lights and there are the Braves; scurrying around, spreading disease and vying for a wildcard spot if not the Eastern crown itself. Disgusting creatures, those Braves.<br />
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Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "What about the Philadelphia Phillies? Don't they get a little-league participation trophy because they try really, really hard?"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-66717880445525903502014-12-15T14:35:00.000-08:002014-12-15T14:35:27.317-08:00Mets Hot Stove Analysis, Part IIThis is the second installment of a three part series citing my opinions on the Mets hot stove movement so far this winter. I wrote about the outfield yesterday in <a href="http://turzman.blogspot.com/2014/12/ive-been-silent-for-too-long-mets.html" target="_blank">part I, if you want to catch up.</a> I also gave my impression on Troy Tulowitzki and why the Mets should <b>NOT</b> pursue him. To wit, Part II begins...<br />
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To the infield-<br />
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The corners are set. Barring injuries, the corners are locked in for a very long time. Third baseman David Wright is the face of the franchise, the team captain and the Mets ambassador to anything and everything the franchise is involved with. And what's not to love? Wright was given a long term, big money contract ensuring he will be a Met for life and he does the fan base proud. He's Mr. Met without the giant head.<br />
There are concerns about his health. Wright has a history of missing significant time, and the nagging, lingering injuries have led to diminished offense. But I like to think David Wright has many productive seasons left, and a few great ones, too.<br />
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The Mets made a clear commitment to Lucas Duda at first base with the expulsion of Ike Davis early last season. It turned out to be the right move as despite his deficiencies against left handed pitching, Duda led the Mets in home runs (30) and runs batted in (92). Duda insists he will figure out lefty hurlers but he's been saying that all his life, and at age 28 I can't see him improving much against southpaws before he reaches the end of his prime. As mentioned yesterday, the acquisition of Michael Cuddyer will make the dismissals of Josh Satin and Eric Campbell painless, as he is an upgrade.<br />
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It is the middle infield where the Mets have some serious questions...<br />
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I have mixed feeling about Daniel Murphy at second base. I understand he led the team in hits (172) and batting average (.289) but those number aren't exactly staggering compared to other team's leaders. Despite scoring 79 runs he only drove in 57. In 596 at bats he struck out only 86 times, but he drew a paltry 39 walks. His $5.7 million price tag seems a bit steep for that offense. His defense, to put it nicely, is a liability. He has trouble turning the double play and makes more than a fair share of errors.<br />
I can't help but think the Mets missed an opportunity to trade him at last year's deadline when he could have returned something valuable. Now they couldn't <b>give</b> him away if they wanted to and they can't afford to trade him, as they have a more pressing need at shortstop and don't need distractions at second.<br />
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Shortstop. (sighs) This is a position where, like center field, I would sacrifice offense for great defense. The Mets have neither right now. At age 25 Ruben Tejada is already deemed a bust because he can't hit to save his life. Wilmer Flores is better with the bat but his glove is inferior to Tejada's. The free agent market is weak and no team wanted to trade for any of the Mets exemplary (and extra) starting pitchers. If the Texas Rangers don't want Dillon Gee, Noah Syndergaard and another piece for Elvis Andrus, then that's their (incorrect) decision to live with. I had no interest in trading with the Cubs for Starling Castro and even less interest in trading with Philadelphia for Jimmy Rollins.<br />
The only free agent that intrigued me was Oakland's Jed Lowrie and he signed with Houston early this morning. I don't even want to know what kind of money Stephen Drew will be demanding. Met fans can complain all they want but the best shortstop right now for the team is Wilmer Flores. Keep Tejada as backup and late inning defense.<br />
In the interim, the best thing the Mets can do is have the Las Vegas AAA club start Wilfredo Tovar at short EVERY DAY until he is big-league ready, and keep Dilson Herrera in Vegas as the every day second baseman and develop his offense. Herrera showed a lot of promise as a September call up and I think he can replace Murphy for good by the end of next year.<br />
I truly believe the Amazin's every day shortstop is already here, be it either Flores or Tovar, but they are still a year away, at best.<br />
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Have some patience, my Met brethren, on the next shortstop and part III of this series where I do pitchers and catchers. Stay tuned...<br />
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Amity Island Harbor Master <b>Frank Silva</b> says, "I think Tursi be a wee bit optimistic about those Spanish fellers at shortstop. Stephen Drew played in Boston and has won many chowder-eating contests. I've seen dead tuna at the cannery that could hit better than Wilmer Flores!"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-8541695942462369652014-12-14T15:13:00.003-08:002014-12-14T15:13:50.782-08:00It just goes to show ---It's amazing what you can learn with just minimal research.<br />
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I've been checking out the moderator stats for Turzman Central which I tend to do from time to time. For no particular reason I checked which of my blogs were the most popular in the last thirty days. To my surprise, listed at number two was a post from May of 2005 announcing to my readers that the guestbook was down.<br />
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2005. The guest book has been decommissioned since late 05, maybe 2006. How the hell does that insignificant post get any traffic now? What kind of foolish entry must be typed into a search engine to find a nine year old post about a defunct Internet guestbook?<br />
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All I can do is hope you newer readers will sift through the archives and find something more important, if not interesting.<br />
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And share with your friends. Thanks.<br />
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Internet addict <b>Pornocat</b> says, "People search the Internet to watch porn. You won't get new readers until you get new naked girly pictures, meow."<br />
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The impatient ghost of <b>Robert Shaw</b> says, "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, no one bloody cares!"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-42699704531679441022014-12-14T11:38:00.000-08:002014-12-14T11:38:23.057-08:00I've been silent for too long. Mets Analysis, Part IDecember the fourteenth. Eleven days till X-mas. So naturally I shall blog about <b>baseball.</b>
With all due respect to Christmas, Hanukkah & the other elements that comprise the Holiday season, I cannot ignore that it is also, <b>Hot Stove Season</b> and quite frankly, I get more joy from that than Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter and Halloween combined.<br />
It's hard to believe, I know. Any fan of the New York Mets (and any other New York area sports team, it seems. Save for the Islanders and Rangers. Yay, hockey!) knows that we are, in a word, <b>cursed.</b> Yes, cursed. But curses can be broken. (see: Boston Red Sox, 2004) How can the Mets be the next Bosox, before they become the next Chicago Cubs? (see: The year 1908) And why talk New York baseball in December? With baseball's winter meetings having come and gone last week, let's see what the Mets did (and <b>didn't</b> do) to avoid the Chicago shame...<br />
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This is the first of three parts analyzing the Mets hot stove movement so far in the winter of 2014/15. Here, I opine on the outfield and why Troy Tulowitzki should NOT be wearing orange and blue next season. Pitchers, catchers and the infield will come later...<br />
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First of all, you morons with hard-ons for Troy Tulowitzki need to step back and reconsider. Or at the very least, <b>go away!</b> Trading for Tulo may be the absolute <b>WORST</b> thing the Mets can do. He's expensive, unhealthy, unreliable and <b>over-rated.</b> Yes, his offensive numbers are impressive at home, but in this case, home field being Coors Field, those offensive numbers are rather pedestrian. His stats are <b>inflated</b> by Coors Field. Look at his less than stellar numbers on the road and intelligent people won't see a ballplayer worth the $106 million he's due over the next six years. The Mets cannot afford that ridiculous salary plus whichever starting pitcher(s) the Rockies would demand via trade. The frightening thing is, GM Sandy Alderson would make a move like that; typical Met nonsense to appease an impatient fan base.<br />
No, no, no, no says I. The Mets cannot afford to be that <b>stupid!</b> Be reminded, Tulo is <b>always hurt!!!</b> If the Mets were to bring him in, he would get injured in spring training, leaving themselves in the same position they're in now, except two starting pitchers fewer and $106 million poorer.<br />
The Rockies offered that contract, and Tulo signed on. He has NOT played up to expectations therefore let the buyer beware. Do not make the Rockies mistake. Tulo will never play a full season of baseball again, and the Rox deserve him. Let him descend to obscurity in Denver, counting his money.<br />
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Met fans, forget about Troy Tulowitzki, please. To the outfield-<br />
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Center fielder Juan Lagares, fresh off a gold glove award. Love him. Center field is one position where I don't mind sacrificing a little offense for exceptional defense and that encapsulates Lagares quite nicely. His offense isn't horrible, but it is barely pedestrian and the Mets plan to stick him in the leadoff spot. Yuck. I wouldn't have anyone but Juan Lagares roaming the <b>chasmal</b> confines of Citifield's outfield, but in order for all to go according to plan he seriously needs to step it up at the plate. His ceiling is high, but can he reach it?<br />
The outfield corners are slightly better now than a year ago. You know what? Say what you will about the signing of Curtis Granderson last off season but he's a welcome member of <i>my</i> outfield, any time. Grandy is the epitome of veteran leadership that <b>every</b> clubhouse needs and he's hardly a liability defensively. Granted, he had possibly his worst season at the plate last year including two separate stretches where he went almost a month without getting a hit! But consider; despite those tepid slumps, at season's end Grandy hit 20 home runs, 27 doubles, drove in almost 70 runs, scored 73 more and drew almost 80 walks. <b>IN AN OFF YEAR!</b> Unless he spends an inordinate amount of time on the disabled list, ALL those stats will be improved upon and we will be lucky to have Grandy in Flushing.<br />
Michael Cuddyer is, from an offensive standpoint, a <b>slight improvement</b> over Eric Campbell, Matt Den Dekker AND Kirk Nieuwenhuis. But at age 35 his health is an issue, and between the outfield and first base the Mets expect Cuddyer to be a full time player. It's unreasonable to expect him to play 162 games, but can he give them 120? Will that be enough to help? If not, can Cuddyer play in at least 100 games?
Hey, for two years at $20 million, Michael Cuddyer is a bargain and worth the gamble. Welcome aboard.<br />
So, with Cuddyer playing first base against lefty pitching, the Mets ideally want a right handed bat to join Grandy and Lagares in the outfield. Nieuwenhuis and Den Dekker are both lefties, and Campbell with little more than offensive <b>flashes</b> here and there, did NOT impress anybody.<br />
Enter John Mayberry, Jr, the fourth outfielder and starter against righties. With Cuddyer as a part time infielder the Mets may carry five outfielders on the roster. If not, then fan favorites Campbell, Den Dekker and Nieuwenhuis will start the season at AAA Las Vegas, if in the Mets organization at all.<br />
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Check back later for part II of my Mets analysis where I opine on the infield and catchers. My thoughts on the pitching staff will be part III.<br />
Thanks for reading, feel free to leave comments-
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Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "Wait just a damn minute. No film critiques, no porn stars, no sharks and no Star Trek references. Instead you give us a thousand words on baseball. In December. This is a refreshing change, I'm proud of you, Turz."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-35343520225549601922014-11-05T19:11:00.000-08:002014-11-05T19:35:46.171-08:00STORMY NIGHT available from Amazon<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
I know what you're thinking...<br />
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You're thinking, "Turz, we've all heard this before."<br />
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And you have.<br />
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But this time it's different.
This time, it's true.<br />
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And that's not to say that I was lying before. On the contrary, every time I posted something along the lines of, "<i>Stormy Night</i> is available now," I thought it was truth. I had certain assurances from (what I thought were) very credible sources that <i>Stormy Night</i> was in fact, actually <b>available.</b> But with every post, tweet, Facebook like/share and screening the accompaniment of a DVD release was sort of like the <b>Loch Ness Monster.</b> It was <i>supposed</i> to be there, but in reality, wasn't.
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Ever since, I promised myself I would never get excited about <i>Stormy</i> news again. Not until I had proof would I ever make a <i>Stormy</i> mention to my <strike>progressively dwindling list of</strike> readers again.<br />
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I have kept that promise and I offer proof-<br />
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Here is the <a href="http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00OYY6DIQ/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_dp_yWTwub1A1CVRG" target="_blank">STORMY link</a> to the Amazon page. Now you can purchase and purview the events leading up to the <b>epic battle</b> between Gray and Andrew-<br />
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And if for some reason you still can't, now you have a corporate entity to complain to instead of me!<br />
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Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "The irony is, everyone reading this blog has probably already seen the film since Turz gave out bootlegged copies as gifts over five years ago!"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-1892058000162819072014-10-25T17:15:00.002-07:002014-10-25T17:15:55.241-07:00a Lovecraft quote, from out of nowhere."Outsiders visit <i>Dunwich</i> as seldom as possible, and since a certain season of horror all the signboards pointing towards it have been taken down.<br />
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The natives are now repellently decadent...<br />
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The average of their intelligence is woefully low, whilst their annals reek of overt viciousness and of half-hidden murders, incest and deeds of almost unnameable violence and perversity."<br />
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~H.P. LovecraftAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-51869531457317646742013-05-21T21:46:00.000-07:002013-05-21T21:46:53.256-07:00Critique: Star Trek Into Darkness<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rnTBQm-DeYY/UZw9xpLIevI/AAAAAAAAAwA/6rkirA9Yrdo/s1600/StarTrekIntoDarknessEnterprisePoster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rnTBQm-DeYY/UZw9xpLIevI/AAAAAAAAAwA/6rkirA9Yrdo/s400/StarTrekIntoDarknessEnterprisePoster.jpg" width="270" /></a>
<b>Star Trek Into Darkness</b><br />
starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, Benedict Cumberbatch<br />
written by: Roberto Orci, Alex Kurtzman, Damon Lindelof<br />
directed by J.J. Abrams<br />
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Before you read any further, be warned that there will be spoilers in this post. If spoilers ain't your thing, then see this film first then read my review. But by any means necessary, see this film and see it soon!<br />
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<b>Star Trek Into Darkness</b> not only succeeds as a direct follow up to its predecessor, but it is an amazing stand alone film that can appeal to anybody. One does not need to be a Trekkie to appreciate the story, performances and special effects Paramount has brought to the table. And just like 2009's <b>Star Trek</b>, this sequel spins an interesting twist on an older Trek installment that will not insult die-hard Trekkies such as myself.<br />
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Before I proceed, I must admit that this film did piss me off, almost to a point where I did not enjoy the film. I fancy myself as a pretty clever fella, and when I heard rumors all those months ago that Benedict Cumberbatch would be playing Khan (arguably Trek's most popular villain as portrayed by Ricardo Montalban) I did some research and came to the conclusion that it was just Internet rumor meant to throw off the fans. I refer you to <a href="http://turzman.blogspot.com/2012/12/sherlock-actor-to-play-treks-newest-bad.html" target="_blank">this earlier post of mine</a> as a reference. As it turns out, I was too smart for my own good. The Internet fooled me.<br />
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Well played, Internet. Well played.<br />
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Cumberbatch, in fact DOES play Khan Noonien Singh, a super-human product of 1990's gene manipulation experiments that led to an army that nearly conquered the Earth. They were defeated and banished into deep space cryo-stasis until their ship was stumbled upon by, not the Enterprise crew, but rather Admiral Marcus (Peter Weller). Marcus thawed out Khan with the hopes that his superior intellect would help design powerful weapons for the war against the Klingon Empire, which Marcus thinks is inevitable.<br />
Marcus gets his upgraded technology, but is betrayed by Khan who escapes and becomes a terrorist.<br />
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That is the backstory that leads to the story proper of <b>Into Darkness </b>as Kirk, Spock and the the intrepid crew of the Enterprise are dispatched to catch Khan under his alias, John Harrison, a Starfleet officer turned traitor who is apparently in league with the Klingons.<br />
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There is absolutely nothing to hate about <b>Star Trek Into Darkness.</b> (Unless of course you guessed totally wrong about the identity of the film's bad guy). It is an intelligent and feasible sequence of events packed with action and peppered with some comedic moments and leads to a satisfying (if not familiar) climax. All the actors were retained to play their parts from the previous film and their chemistry with one another is a solid base from which their performances can grow.<br />
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<b>Into Darkness</b> introduces us (albeit briefly) to this franchise's incarnation of the Klingons. They have received a slight makeover but are still recognizable and it is almost certain that they will play a larger role in <b>Star Trek 3</b> which, in my opinion, cannot come soon enough.<br />
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We also get to meet Dr. Carol Marcus (Alice Eve), the character who will give birth to Kirk's ill-fated son. (or at least, she did in the original Trek timeline. Who knows what will happen in this alternate timeline?)<br />
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And a special kudos goes to the writers who had the good grace NOT to kill off Khan so they can bring him back in maybe part 4 or 5, which in my opinion cannot come soon enough.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXjI6jxoxwZqFPYEM2wbVk8hdcHjL7EyNBlkNz5H0sMVjwVp8-LzPRXEo5hPgzWtFGudN9MAvVd1yk50g4EoL10mdOlJ3IPpFHaFwXFAeanEONFGPnxg4xDgPbhSRCn5v8LH7MSQ/s1600/gamera.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXjI6jxoxwZqFPYEM2wbVk8hdcHjL7EyNBlkNz5H0sMVjwVp8-LzPRXEo5hPgzWtFGudN9MAvVd1yk50g4EoL10mdOlJ3IPpFHaFwXFAeanEONFGPnxg4xDgPbhSRCn5v8LH7MSQ/s1600/gamera.jpg" /></a></div>
Guardian of the universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "If they decide to reprise Commodore Decker in the next one I will audition for it. I've been told I bear a striking resemblance to William Windom."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-72188995122280926012013-04-26T12:03:00.001-07:002013-04-26T12:03:11.667-07:00Una Mariposa<p>Una Mariposa<br>
en mis pantalones,<br>
tiene buena suerte,<br>
Mariposa.</p>
<p>Una Mariposa<br>
en mis zapatos,<br>
¡aye qué pobrecita<br>
Mariposa!</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-26970267224092030072013-04-09T11:18:00.000-07:002013-04-09T11:18:00.705-07:00The Greatest Film You Ain't Never Seen<b>STORMY frigging NIGHT,<b> kiddies!
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<b><b><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz_9cl905D4pdpgD5vCgZcigzJQr10vBR2xy9zxefzf_ovvI5M4vKSbGYGzsBnNS3dCJw22BeQ6_Fwd5OwSXkbQxaJHKylrdFIr6T6xruAjNBM76FUSSUqrSl7ZOHel3UmxkqEag/s1600/Stormy1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz_9cl905D4pdpgD5vCgZcigzJQr10vBR2xy9zxefzf_ovvI5M4vKSbGYGzsBnNS3dCJw22BeQ6_Fwd5OwSXkbQxaJHKylrdFIr6T6xruAjNBM76FUSSUqrSl7ZOHel3UmxkqEag/s320/Stormy1.jpg" width="320" /></a></b></b></div>
<b><b>
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I swear I wasn't exaggerating when I called this the film that would not die...<br />
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<b>On a Dark and Stormy Night</b> is now available to view online, FOR FREE. That's right, you no longer have an excuse NOT to see the award winning little film that dozens of people love!<br />
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Willy Adkins of <a href="http://spookshowentertainment.com/" target="_blank">Spook Show Entertainment</a> has taken the reigns and assigned a new moniker,<br />
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<b>Stormy Night</b> can be seen on YouTube, for free-<br />
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<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSbGhI10cZE">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSbGhI10cZE</a><br />
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Share with your friends, be on the ground floor of something AMAZING. Feedback is always welcome. Thanks for your patience, my intrepid readers. If I get famous, I promise to remember you all.<br />
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Turz.</b></b>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-33838239263630169802013-01-22T22:37:00.001-08:002013-01-22T22:37:41.627-08:00The Asylum: Oh, you crafty mother-f*ckers...I watched, and really enjoyed, <i>Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.</i> I wondered if the gerbils in charge at The Asylum were finally committed to putting out quality films for a change (despite not having permission to develop the intellectual property).<br />
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So now, I'm watching <i>Princess of Mars</i> and they fooled me.</div>
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It sucks, like everything else The Asylum has hashed out, except for <i>Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies.</i></div>
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Well played, Asylum assholes. Well played, indeed. It's not easy to fool me.<br />
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Internet addict <b>Pornocat</b> says, "I also watched <i>Princess of Mars.</i> Why doesn't Traci Lords do porn anymore? Meow."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8079555.post-50126036446311010742012-12-10T19:30:00.000-08:002012-12-10T19:30:23.749-08:00"Sherlock" Actor to Play Trek's Newest Bad GuyThe game is afoot...<br />
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If you can believe Internet rumors, <i>Sherlock</i> actor <a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1212722/" target="_blank">Benedict Cumberbatch</a> is slated to portray the villain in <i>Star Trek Into Darkness.</i> If you haven't seen him as Sherlock Holmes in the BBC's contemporary incarnation of the sleuth, you're missing something grand. If you are familiar with Cumberbatch's work on <i>Sherlock,</i> then you probably agree that the thought of casting him as a Trek bad-ass is, in a word, <b>elementary.</b><br />
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The first I heard was few days ago on the IMDB, that Cumberbatch was <b>rumored</b> to play Khan Noonien Singh in what I assumed was going to be a re-tooling of the classic Trek episode, "Space Seed." (Say what you want about <i>Fantasy Island,</i> Ricardo Montalban will <b>always</b> be known for Khan).<br />
So, Cumberbatch as Khan? Why not? I could totally see that working.<br />
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Until I saw this photo...<br />
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Um, yes. That's Benedict Cumberbatch, but it's not Khan. I mean, it can't be Khan. Khan is not clean cut, he's a super-warrior so bad-ass that the <b>entire planet Earth</b> banded together to get him and his followers on a space ship and exile him into space. Khan is a warrior of the outer space wasteland, he can't look like a frigging butler! And wait, is that a Starfleet insignia on his shirt? Khan was never in Starfleet. He was sent into exile before there ever was a Starfleet.<br />
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So what gives...?<br />
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Next, I saw this photo...<br />
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Well, he's definitely wearing a Starfleet uniform and it appears Kirk (Chris Pine) and Spock (Zachary Quinto) are speaking to our unidentified villain in a brig-type setting. So at the very least Cumberbatch plays a traitor to the Federation.<br />
The second rumor I heard, and I admit I found it very fascinating, was that Cumberbatch would be playing Gary Mitchell. Trekkies like me know Mitchell as the bad guy from the original series' second pilot, "Where No Man Has Gone Before." (The first show to feature William Shatner as Kirk and featured Sally Kellerman in a supporting role). Since Khan was revisited with his own feature length film back in 1982 why not give another villain a second shot in the spotlight?<br />
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Whoever Cumberbatch plays, I'm anxious to see this film. The Trek reboot breathed new life into a franchise that does not deserve to die, and a powerful follow up will ensure at least another sequel soon.<br />
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Besides, it looks like Sherlock has a fight scene with Spock and succumbs to a neck pinch...<br />
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Oh yeah, I'm sold. See you in May, new Star Trek moviefilm.<br />
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Guardian of the Universe <b>Gamera</b> says, "I auditioned for the role of 'Ensign Rickey' and I got the part. Sadly, Paramount Pictures did not have a red shirt in my size and went with someone else."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03311250558702337727noreply@blogger.com1