Google Maps

Ok so go to google.com.

Click on maps.

Click on get directions.

From New York, New York.

To Paris, France.


Then read line #23.

Laugh, and repost.

Pictoral Hoot V

With special guest star - Star Trek's Commodore Decker!



"I'll bet these two computer disks that you can't guess why there's a pretzel stuck to my shirt!"

Thanks, Lindsay!

Hi Mike,

I saw your website, Turzman, and thought you might be interested in this story about sharks from Conservation International:

Preying on Predators: Shark Tagging Data Will Guide Conservation Policy, Efforts

"Contrary to popular belief, sharks are not preying on people as much aspeople are preying on sharks. Millions are harvested every year, primarily to fill a ravenous craving for shark fin soup."
The story describes the plight of sharks endangered by the demand forshark fin soup and the efforts of scientists to learn how to bestprotect them by shark tagging. There are maps of the sharks' movements,photos, and video.

Learn more at: http://www.conservation.org/xp/frontlines/2007/03260701.xml

Please consider adding this link to your website to help spread theword!

Cheers,
Lindsay Walter-Cox
l.walter-cox@conservation.org
Conservation International

The Shark is Still Working

An all new documentary of the greatest film of all time, JAWS, has been made.
Narrated by Roy Scheider, the doc contains interviews with, to name a few, Steven Spielberg, Richard Dreyfuss, Carl Gottlieb, Kevin Smith, Eli Roth and, in his final interview shortly before his death, JAWS scribe Peter Benchley.

But the producers have not found a distributor yet.

There is an online petition at http://www.petitiononline.com/amity811/petition.html for fans to sign. Show your support and help get this thing out there.

Pictoral Hoot IV: A Hoot in Space

"The Fonz, Spock. A late 20th century Earth icon who walked around saying Aaaaaaaaaay all the time."

Freak Show Entertainment

My friends at Freak Show Entertainment have entered their most recent film, "Back Alley Butcher" in a film festival.
For those of you in or around California's Inland Empire, come out to the screening on Saturday, Feb 17 at the world famous Coffee Depot in downtown Riverside.
I have a small and meager, yet intricate part in the film. I'm credited as "guy on the radio."
The Coffee Depot is world reknown as the place where The Swinging Johnson Brothers perform LIVE every other Sunday, and is located caddy-corner to the equally world famous Spaghetti Factory.

Visit the freaks at Freak Show-
http://www.freakshowentertainment.com

Back Alley Butcher -
http://freakshowentertainment.com/FSE/BackAlleyButcher.html

Look for my picture, along with the rest of the cast & crew -
http://freakshowentertainment.com/FSE/Cast_And_Crew.html

Last, but certainly not least, swing your johnson with vigor!
The Swinging Johnson Brothers -
http://www.swingingjohnson.com/main.htm

Announcement:

Please disregard previous blog.
Instead, look at Lee Van Cleef.

Or, as he's known as in the Orient,

Ree Van Creef.

NFL picks: Championship Sunday

I have not posted my picks at all this season, mostly because I'm so far removed from sports analysis since my radio show-hosting came to an end.
Plus there's no time compared to last season.
Regardless, I've held my tongue all season, and I want to share my insight and pick the Superbowl winner; just to see if I can still handicap this f*cking game...

Saints at Bears:
The Chicago defense is not as solid as they want us to believe, and New Orleans is still riding high on the Katrina emotions. The rest of the country seems to have forgotten about that storm, and the Bears think that two inches of snow at Soldier Field works in their favor.
Saints QB Drew Brees made a significant MVP candidancy, and let's not forget he played his college ball at Purdue. He's no stranger to cold weather.
Despite the possibility that Joe Horn might not play, the Saints offense has enough weapons to exploit the Bears' defensive weakness, the secondary.
With such a pungent running attack, expect Sean Payton to be creative in setting up the pass with the threat of the run, leading to scores early in the game.
Chicago wiull be playing catch-up all game, and Rex Grossman will make some errors and throw balls into haevy coverage. The only thing that can save the Bears is their running attack, and I like the Saints defense.
Saints 35, Bears 24.

Patriots at Colts:
Let's face it, Peyton Manning is snakebit in the playoffs against New England, and, with all due respect, Tony Dungy ain't no Bill Belichick.
Tom Brady played like total crap against the Chargers (the best team to be eliminated from the playoffs by the way) and the Pats still pulled off an exciting win (due largely in part to Marty Schottenheimer's own playoff snakebite).
Brady's a winner, plain and simple. It's a proven fact.
Peyton's proved that he has happy feet in the post season, where he's not nearly as confident. It shows every year.
Bill Belichick will go down in history as one of the two best NFL coaches of all time.
Tony Dungy will be forgotten about, within five years after he disappears from this game.
Brady is undefeated in 10 games in domes in his career.
Let's not even talk about defenses, these two teams' run-stopping is on opposite sides of the spectrum.
But because this may be Manning's last chance at going to the big game, today's match will be exciting. I expect a close-knit nail-biter, with Indy losing by way of a 4th quarter, Peyton-induced turnover.
Pats 26, Colts 24.

The Superbowl:
Pats 44, Saints 17.
The magic ends when the Saints hopes are crushed by a superior team.
If Drew Brees is Superman, Bill Belichick is Lex Luthor and Tom Brady is the Kryptonite.

Enjoy your Sundays, people. Send feedback to mike@turzman.com