Great news, everyone. "On a Dark and Stormy Night" finally has a premiere date. No shit this time, either. I'm told this is set in stone.
Thursday, January 29, 7:00 pm.
The Krikorian Theater, Redlands, CA.

I know a lot of you wanted to come to the premiere when it was supposed to be last April, so I'm putting this out there for anyone still interested.

Tickets must be purchased through the director, Ezequiel. Cost is general admission. ($9.00)
Just type "Stormy Premiere" in the heading so he knows you're not spam. Tell him Turzman sent ya the invite. Here's his e-mail addy-

San_Diablo@sbcglobal.net

"this first screening only holds 120 asses. so get your tix now!
and don't forget to visit
www.OnADarkAndStormyNightMovie.com "






The impatient ghost of Robert Shaw says, "Last April? What the hell was the bloody delay? Did your shark not work, either?"

A spot of good fortune.

Okay. So I can no longer completely loathe a certain coffee dispensary that formerly held me in its employ. I mean, it would directly violate the laws of Karma. You see, my funds are nearly depleted despite having worked 13 of the last 14 days at my new gig. The money's all but dried up. Then, out of nowhere, my good friend Nathan came over and said there was a bag of unclaimed tip money in my name.
No joke, there was $50 awaiting me. Fifty mutha-humpin' greenbacks! So I swallow a bit of pride and give a half-masted Turzman Salute to, *sighs* Sta***cks.
I can't do it. So I'm weak.

Anyway, about that fifty smackers...

I celebrated by treating myself to a churro. $1.03 after my employee discount.

Celebrate with me by doing the Hanky Panky.



And now, a song that is "slightly more fun that being stung by a scorpion."
Flots Till Death, bitches.




Internet addict PornoCat says, "On a side note, can anyone help Turz and I find some decent quality Reverend Horton Heat videos online anywhere? Thanks, meow."