Film Critique- "The Whole Nine Yards"

Ripped from the archives at Operation Orca circa May, 2008, a film that features Matthew Perry in a role that doesn't make you want to strangle the breath from his putrid lungs.

The Whole Nine Yards (2000)
starring: Bruce Willis, Matthew Perry, Natasha Henstridge, Michael Clarke Duncan, Kevin Pollack, Rosanna Arquette, Amanda Peet
written by: Mitchell Kapner
directed by: Jonathan Lynn



Matthew Perry made his mark on this biz as TV's Chandler Bing on Friends. In every subsequent role in his career since then, Perry has played no-one but Chandler. The smarmy, neurotic, nervous and timid characterization he carried into motion pictures was very annoying long before Friends finished its prime-time run and it proved that Perry, as an actor, is about as one-dimensional as the rest of the Friends cast. Of course, this proved to be detrimental to Perry's endeavors as a leading man. In a nutshell, he sucks. He does nothing different in The Whole Nine Yards. But the film shows us that, under the right circumstances, surrounded by true talent and subject to clever writing, even a hack like Matthew Perry can shine and deliver.

Do you think Mr. Willis will give us an autograph?

Perry's Chandler Bing is disguised as Nicholas "Oz" Oseransky, an American dentist living in misery in Montreal with his strumpet of a wife (Rosanna Arquette). His hum-drum life is turned topsey-turvey when he gets a new next door neighbor, Jimmy "The Tulip" Tudeski (Bruce Willis), a former hit man for the mob turned federal informant. What follows is a string of hilarious events that play directly (and perfectly) into the incapable hands of Perry's limited acting ability.

No you can't have my fu*king autograph.

Oz is so far removed from his element and subjegated to things and people so foreign to him, that the quirky, neurotic nervousness that Perry can only play is a perfect fit and compliments the rest of the cast to a tee. The chemistry between the characters is on target, and stems directly from Perry; a tremendous feat considering the impressive, all-star cast the film boasts.

Surely Bruce will give ME, Kevin Pollack an autograph.

Besides Willis and Arquette, there's Kevin Pollack, fantastic as Yanni Gogolak, Michael Clarke Duncan as Frankie (whose interactions with Oz are, in a word, golden), Natasha Henstridge as Oz's love interest once his bitch of a wife is out of the picture, Harland Williams in what is, I think, his most serious role (and he's still frigging hilarious), and the formerly over-hyped and way too over-rated Amanda Peet; the film's sole weak link. But where she lacks in acting talent, she more than makes up for with some extended scenes of her bare breasts. Sorry, fans of the Peet, but that's all she's got going here and that's all she's able to deliver.

I don't have it! He wouldn't give me an autograph, I swear to God!

Otherwise, this film is a gem. Rent it, purchase it, enjoy it. If you've already seen it, see it again. It's one of those films that never gets dull.

Why doesn't anybody want MY autograph?

COMING SOON TO TURZMAN DOT COM-
My "Stay Out of the Water" film critique series gets an extension by way of Reader Request and I'll sink my teeth into Deep Blue Sea shortly.
And still to come, the survivors of the wreckage known as earlier Turzman Critiques from Operation Orca and the now defunct but sorely missed KarmaCritic.

Amity Island Harbor Master Frank Silva says, "Finally, Turz will review a movie with some sort of seafood featured in it. I have to say, the review for Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus sucked as bad as the movie did."