This is only a test...

This is my first blog attempt via my telephone. Since I am sans computer and don't see myself buying one in the near future, I figured I should see if this works. So far, I'm not happy with the interface. I cannot even add pictures because when I press the image icon, the link icon gets highlighted. I'm sure it's because I have fat fingers. Sheesh, I need a new computer.

No, I have not died...

I only wish I have.

Since February last, I have been residing in California.
Yes, I left Hawaii.
Yes, I said I never would.
And fuck you for remembering.

Once again, due to circumstances beyond my control, my life is in the shitter.

I'm not sure what's to become of Turzman Central. It's still gonna exist; be right here where it's always been.

I just don't know what I'm gonna do with it.

Stay tuned. Or not.

Aloha, beautiful sights like this---



Kiss my dick, loyal readers.

Go Offend Yourself...

E-mail complaints to kismas@faq.com

Peece.

Oh, my!

A man breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair.
While tying the home owner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up & goes into the bathroom.

While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife, "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain ... do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"

His wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too."

Amity Island Harbor Master Frank Silva says, "Ah, the true measure of a man. Would ye be ridin' the baloney pony to save the life of yer wifey? Not so quick to answer, is ye?"