Thursday, April 20, 2006

What About Love?

"It's overrated. Bio-chemically, it's no different than eating large quantities of chocolate."

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

New York Hockey Really Grinds My Gears

Well, the NHL's regular season is over, and both the Rangers & Islanders have shown their real colors in recent days.
The Islanders, with a piddly 78 points for the season, missed the playoffs by a country mile, but could have played a major spoiler role last night against Philadelphia.
What do the Isles do? They give up four goals in the 3rd period after leading for the whole game. How embarrasing.
Not as embarrasing as say, the Rangers, who through mid-season was playing like the team to beat in the east. But, since the entire team except Jaromir Jagr took a nap for a month, they lost a lot of ground in the standings, and they lost a lot of close games.
They lost the last five regular season games, including last night to the cold Ottawa Senators, in which a victory would have secured them the Atlantic Division, and home ice in the first round of the playoffs.
Of course, they lost and now they find themselves facing the hottest team in the east, New Jersey and will probably face an ugly elimination.
The Devils have won 11 straight to finish off the season, and they have the best goaltender in the Eastern Conference in Martin Brodeur.
Say goodnight, Rangers. Defensively, you are very weak. Heinrik Lundquivst, the young and promising goalie, has no playoff experience and will overwhelmed by the onslaught of New Jersey's offense. The Ranger offense needs more production from people not named Jagr.
So basically, New York hockey fans will have to watch the DEvils make another push for the Stanley Cup, and they'll probably win it too, although I like San Jose's chances coming out of the Pacific Division.
A more in-depth look at the west will come soon, but as for the east, look for Ottawa and Carolina to make the strongest surges against New Jersey, but Buffalo can be a dark horse.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Movie Review: Scary Movie 4

It was a Saturday night, I was with Ezequiel in a cowboy bar in Mentone while he's going thru his phone book, looking for someone to hang with.
I told him, "It's 8:30 on a Saturday night, everyone you know has plans already, except for us."
So he says, "Okay, do we drink or see a movie?"
EZ and I have radically different taste in films, so I wanted to drink. But I was driving. I ask him what movie. He says, "V for Vendetta."
I said, "Let's go drink."
So we leave the cowboys to do whatever the hell cowboys do when they're not beating up their girlfriends, and decide on a bar next to the movie theater so we can decide on what movie to watch over drinks. (The best of both worlds, as it were).
As it turns out, we didn't need the drinks because as we drove past the theater marquee, two words and a didgit pop out at us, and EZ and I say in harmony, "Scary Movie 4."
Let me say this, for the first 20 minutes of this film, I didn't stop laughing. And unlike most other slapstick comedies, the comedy remained fresh throughout.
Scary Movie 4 tears apart War of the Worlds (the shitty Speilberg version, not the good one), The Grudge, Brokeback Mountain, The Village, Saw (1 & 2), and takes especially mean (yet accurate) potshots at Tom Cruise and President Bush.
Ever since Zucker, Abrahams & Proft took over the Scary Movie franchise, their stamps elevated this dead celluloid to the levels of Police Squad and Airplane.
No offense to the Wayans brothers, but they still have a lot to learn about slapstick, although their newest project, Little Man, looks hilarious.
Oh yeah, and I can't wait for Clerks 2. Saw the preview last night and it looks just as good as the other films from the Jay & Silent Bob vein.