Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hawai'i Legislators Make Pioneer Move to Protect Sharks

Los Angeles, Ca - On April 6th, 2010, the Hawai'i House passed measure SB 2169, prohibiting the distribution, sale, and possession of shark fins in the State of Hawai'i. If passed through the Senate, will set a precedent for other states and nations. Measure SB 2169 is a victory for the protection of sharks and an important step toward ocean conservation. If/when SB 2169 becomes effective, Hawaii will be the first state in the union to ban the sale of shark fins.
Currently, shark finning is banned in U.S. waters; however, the sale of shark fins is still legal. Shark "finning" is the process of cutting the fins from the living animal and wastefully disposing of the body back into the sea. Finning kills over 70 million sharks annually, threatening the survival of these important top predators. Shark fins are consumed primarily in the form if shark fin soup, a delicacy traditionally served to Asian communities at banquets and weddings and is erroneously thought to have health benefits. The growing economic power of the Asian public is fueling a booming and unsustainable industry that is critically endangering sharks.

By preying on weak, sick and dying animals, sharks prevent explosions of fish populations and are the key element in a balanced ecosystem. Removing sharks from the oceanic ecosystem may have dramatic ecological impacts that could threaten all commercial fisheries.

Iemanya Oceanica, a Southern California based shark conservation group is delighted about the turn of events in Hawai'i, "We hope that lawmakers around the world will follow suit in instituting similar protections for these critically important animals. We want to congratulate Hawai'i's representatives for their groundbreaking decision to get behind this measure" said Iemanya's President, Laleh Mohajerani.

The bill now has passed from the house and into "Conference" next week, which means it will be subjected to additional discussion and potential amendments. Stefanie Brendl from the Humane Society who has been rallying support for this bill says, "I felt that it was such an important and historic piece of legislation that I immediately dropped everything and have dedicated all my time to it. It hasn't been easy getting this bill this far and we don't expect it to be easy in the next weeks to come." Brendl continues "This bill is not only important for Hawai'i but for the whole nation, if not for the world. The Mission Blue team of 50 top celebrities and marine scientists are now supporting the measure, including Dr. Silvia Earle, Ed Norton, Glenn Close, and Leonardo di Caprio." Brendl will be working with Senator Hee, who introduced the Bill, and Representative McKelvey, a supporter of the Bill, on the exact final language. SB 2169 will then move on to a Senate vote.

In 2010 Iemanya Oceanica will be collaborating with other conservation groups on a nation-wide campaign in the U.S. to prohibit the sale and possession of shark fins in all 50 states, and Mohajerani added, "We are all eagerly watching Hawai'i's progress in this extraordinary move towards shark conservation and support the Hawai'ian legislators push to protect the oceans from being depleted."

Monday, April 12, 2010

Oh, the conversations I have...

Let's talk about penis pumps. It's an occupational hazard of mine, (talking about them, not using them, wise-ass) and I had to become an expert overnight to satisfy the concerns of men who don't always feel, "up to the task."
That ends the comedic portion of this blog. Despite finding great humor in my new occupation, I'd be remiss to not take some of this stuff seriously. Men come into my store with some valid concerns that cannot be addressed by a standard jerk sleeve.
So I used the Intranet to do some actual research because as a legitimate peddler of the PRON I have to be able to answer questions like the one most men have wondered at least once in their lifetimes.

"Do penis pumps actually work?"

The short answer is "yes."

Now men, don't go out and drop your coin in sweaty anticipation just yet. The longer, more complex answer requires that I ask, "What are you using the pump for?" You see, PP's (no snickering allowed, this is educational stuff) are actual, medical devices designed to help with actual, medical problems. Medical problems concerning the penis.

This is when I assume you boys aren't so bold to go out and buy one so quickly. I'm right, ain't I?

It would help if potential PP consumers knew how they worked...

Penis pumps work by vacuum aspiration (this simply means they create a vacuum around the penis). By squeezing a bulb, or using a plunger, or electric pump, air is sucked out of the cylinder that is placed over the shaft of the penis. As the air is sucked out, a stronger and stronger vacuum is created around the penis. Your penis gets pulled into the cylinder. The blood pressure within your penis causes extra blood to rush into the erectile tissue. This causes engorgement (erection). Then a round clamp is used to hold the extra blood in the penis for about 30 minutes. Clamping it any longer can cause serious problems. The erection caused by a PP is not the same as a normal erection. It is softer and spongier.

I get the impression, based on conversations I have while trying to sell these things, that men expect a "miracle," being instant size increase after only one use. If that were the case, everyone would have one. When they learn that results don't show immediately, they are no longer interested in buying a PP, seeing it as a waste of money.

PP's, like most medical tools (or drugs) need time to take a more permanent effect on the subject. The more you use a pump (following directions to the letter) the less the blood vessels will shrink back to their original sizes. Thus, more blood will flow when a natural erection occurs, leading to a girthier johnson (and a pleasantly surprised girlfriend).

Besides, anything with such an impressive gauge on it just has to work? Doesn't it?

Oh, and another thing, PP's do not cure erectile dysfunction, but they will create an erection sufficient for sexual intercourse. You get a "manufactured erection". It is not as hard as a true erection, but unlike surgery and implants, PP's are totally non invasive.

Knowledge is power. Go out and get some.