Monday, March 30, 2009

"I need to forget her face, I see it still."

I always love it when women complain about men. I've heard the same story told by dozens of different girls. "men are pigs," etc.
Well let the record show that women aren't exactly the most humanitarian of all the species. I've seen girls turn off their emotions like a light switch. It's amazing, actually; it's a sign that women are truly emotionally superior to men because they control theirs so much better.
Women think men are unreliable scum. Men think women are insane with irrepairable mental damage. They're both right. Allow me to simplify: we all suck, and when our end finally comes, it will be the most merciful of all acts our creator can do for us. Or to us, whatever.

Marlon Brando said it best in Guys and Dolls- "Women are only good when you need them, like a cough drop."
Feel free to quote any random feminist with a deplorable opinion of men. It's probably accurate.

I Don't Believe in Love. I never have, I never will.



HBO is playing The Last Starfighter. I'm obligated to watch, so go away and hold all my calls.

Jedi Master Yoda says, "When eight hundred years old you become, understand women you will. Possibly."






Internet addict Pornocat says, "Aw, it sounds like Turz got stood up again."






Chicken-infatuated muppet Gonzo the Great says, "Have you ever considered humping chickens?"

2 comments:

Belen said...

Ooh! I feel like watching Guys and Dolls right now! Too bad my laptop's dvd player is crap.

The Turzman said...

I can't get my room mate to watch a musical to save his life. I have an itch to watch Seven Brides for seven Brothers right now. Not gonna happen.