Thursday, July 21, 2011

Separated at Birth (almost nsfw, but acceptable)

My blogging hiatus has not been in vain. I assure you, the time I was not here, acting as custodian of Turzman Central has been spent on an edification project of scholarly proportions.

This is what I've been wrapping my brain around for the last three and a half months...

If anyone were to ever produce and distribute a XXX NASCAR porn parody, the role of Danica Patrick must be played by India Summer. Ergo, the proof...

Danica Patrick ~

India Summer ~

Yes. This is what I've been contemplating since April. Excessive obsession? Possibly. But I'm right, ain't I? Here, look again...

Danica Patrick ~

India Summer ~

Need more proof?

Danica Patrick ~

India Summer ~

I can do this all day.

Danica Patrick ~

India Summer ~

If I'm wrong about this, I DO NOT WANT TO BE RIGHT!
By the way, if this post is NSFW, you seriously need a new job.
Feel free to leave comments.

Amity Island Harbor Master Frank Silva says, "Tis nice to see Turzman's still thinkin with ye small head rather than the correct one. I was afraid maybe ye spent the time recoverin from the scurvy, or whatever it is that ails ya. But ye still be sick in tha head and all is as it should be."

Internet addict Pornocat says, "I agree and I think God does too. Why else would India Summer look ten years younger than she really is? To play a woman who actually is ten years younger than she is. If that's not Divine Intervention, then God is wasting everybody's time. Meow."

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A Priest and a Rabbi...

A priest and a rabbi go to a boxing match together.
Popcorn and beer in hand, butts in seats, they both
eagerly await an exciting fight night.

As the pugilists enter the ring, the rabbi notices
one of the fighters crosses himself after saying a

The rabbi asked the priest, "Why did he cross himself?
What does that mean?"

The priest answered, "It doesn't mean a damned thing
if he can't fight!"


ps- I'm back...

Guardian of the Universe Gamera says, "Big deal. I didn't miss you. Nah, jus kiddin. Welcome back, Turz."