Saturday, June 10, 2006

Sayonarra, sucker.

In what can be summed up only as the greatest thing to happen to the New York Mets since GM Steve Phillips was fired, the Mets have TRADED THE IMPORTED WASHOUT, KAZ MATSUI.
I thought the Amazin's would be stuck with that under-achieving jerk until his contract was up, but the Colorado Rockies, the official Huckleberries of the Mets, are taking a chance on Kaz and sending OF/1B/C Eli Marrero to Flushing.
Of course, now that he's no longer a Met, Kaz will probably bat over .360 and hit 30 homers at Coors Field, but who cares?
He's no longer a Met and Eli Marrero is my hero.

Friday, June 09, 2006

It's Official...

David Lee Roth is a confused, out of touch, country retarded, redneck wannabe.
Check out this disturbing footage from Jey Leno's show the other night-

A bluegrass version of Jump. What a goddamn disgrace.

Here's a joke, ripped from Webmaster Steve's site...

Al Zarqawi is dead, and here's what happened when he got to heaven...
He was rushed past St Peter's pearly gates and taken direcly to God's study, where he found God and Jesus chatting about Clint Eastwood movies (Jesus is a particular fan of "Paint Your Wagon.")
Deeply humbled, Zarq says to God, "Oh great god blah blah blah I am so honored to be in your glorious presense blah blah blah..
Could you tell me, however, where I could find the prophet Mohammed? I would like to finally meet him face to face."
"In a little bit, yes, Zarq."
"Can you tell me when? Please forgive me, but you've gotta understand I've been waiting for this moment my whole life!" His excitement was hard to contain.
"Just as soon as we sit down with a cup of coffee.. there are a few things I'd like to chat with you about regarding some of the stuff you did on earth. Would you like some coffee, or am I drinking alone?"
Well, would you turn down a cup of coffee when offered to you by God himself? so Zarq said, "Yes, I'd love some coffee.."

"Mohammed! Two coffees!"


Wednesday, June 07, 2006

How NOT to Steal a Sidekick II

The story of the stolen Sidekick II cannot be described, it can only be experienced.
Click on the link and check it out.
Some people are so dumb, it's amazing.
I swear, if breathing were not an involuntary action, a lot of people would forget to do it and die.
Which would not be a bad thing, by the way.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Excuse me, Mr. Randolph, sir?

"Say Willie, you remember all those things I did for you, right? Well I'm calling in a favor. You got any room for another bench coach? Managing the Yankees has become a BIGGER FU*KING HEADACHE than it's worth!"