Friday, September 03, 2004

Coyote Classic Volleyball tourney

Hey kids...
The Turzman coming to you live from the Coussoulis Arena on the campus of Cal State University at San Bernardino with an update on women's volleyball.
The tourney is going well for the Lady 'Yotes who dispatched Abilene Christian, 3-0 earler today.
In previous action, Fort Hays St. (Kansas) defeated Sonoma St, 3-1 and I'm getting ready to watch Sonoma St. save face against Minnesota State, Mankato.
Later today, Abilene Christian will face Fort Hays St at 5pm (PST) and in the nightcap the Coyotes will take on Minnesota St.-Mankato at 7:30.
The wireless internet service making this post possible is courtesy of my good friend, Wes Collins who is covering this event for the San Bernardino Sun.
There was great action in the game and I'll recap it later.
For now, I'm gonna watch some pretty ladies in tight shorts play some V-ball, baby!!


Thursday, September 02, 2004

Kobe acquitted, Padres do the right thing...

Hey kids...

It came down on Sportscenter this morning that the prosecution is dropping the criminal charges against Kobe Bryant on the rape count. Well duh...
It isn't as if they had much of a case in the first place.
Let's face it, the only thing Kobe was guilty of is adultery, and at last check that's not illegal.
Now I'm no fan of Kobe and I have a passionate hatred of the Lakers. I CAN'T STAND 'EM.
But if there is anybody who actually thought that the sex was not consentual, they are so fucking stupid, that if breathing were not an involuntary action they would forget to do it.
Kobe's accuser, who still wishes to remain anonymous, won't testify, and is just sooo mortified because she "can't handle it", had the opportunity to suck a famous guy's dick, did it, and now was trying to cash in.
Thank God people are not so stupid that they believed her. That's why the prosecution dropped what little of a case they had, nobody believed her.
And rightfully so, you money-grubbing bitch; drop dead already.
So Kobe is acquitted of all criminal charges; he's found innocent, but there is still the civil trial to deal with? That's what I didn't understand about the whole O.J. thing...

That murderer was found innocent of criminal charges, but was found guilty of libel in the civil case and ended up having to pay up the wazoo to the estates of his victims? After a criminal court said he was innocent of murder? What the hell?!?!?!

And now Kobe might be facing the same thing. The lying twat dropped all criminal charges but might get a big payoff anyway? My God, our judicial system sucks!
Here's my advice to Kobe...don't pay the bitch a red cent.
Instead, counter-sue for slander. Hell, the bitch has practically admitted to purgery by dropping the criminal suit. Fuck her, her family and her paranoia. She deserves all the harassment she gets.

Subject change...
The San Diego Padres announced this morning that this upcoming weekend at PetCo park will celebrate "Mr. Padre Weekend" by retiring Tony Gwynn's #19 jersey number that he wore for 20 years with the organization. Well I say hoo-ray. Few deserve such celebration, but Tony Gwynn certainly does.
(Link to Mr. Padre story: ).

He holds every offensive record in the franchise's history, won 8 batting titles, hit over .300 in nineteen consecutive seasons! The 15 time all-star retired with the 18th best all time career batting average (.338), and was a member of all three division-winning Padre clubs (1984, 1996, 1998).

Mr. Gwynn is a first time ballot hall of famer, and having played his entire career with only one club (which is amazing in and of itself) deserves not only a weekend, but an entire season of praise from the city of San Diego. What a stand-up guy.

That's it for today, kids. But I want you all to check this site out:
eBaum's world is one of my favorite places to visit, and there is new content every Friday morning; guaranteed to entertain.

As usual, best regards to all (except Kobe's accuser and Chipper Jones),
and don't take any shit from anybody.


Wednesday, September 01, 2004

Yankees lose, California sucks...

Hey kids...
I was in a better mood this morning but have hit rock-bottom again. But I promise, today's rant won't be as offensive as yesterday's.

First the good news...
did anybody catch that Yankee game last night? It was a beautiful thing...
The Bombers received the worst ass-whuppin' in their 101 year history at the hands of the unimpressive Cleveland Indians, who are 7 games behind Minnesota in the Central and 11.5 games out of the wildcard race. Kids, this is a team the Yankees must beat with the Bosox right on their heels.
But behold...22 runs on 22 hits while the mighty pinstripe offense is shut out and producing only 5 hits.
(Link to story and box score: ).
Kudos to Omar Visquel, who went six for seven with 2 doubles, 3 runs scored, and 4 RBI's while tying the American League record for hits in a game (6).
Link to Visquel story: ).

The Yanks have allowed their lead in the AL East dwindle from 10.5 games to 3.5 games in just a month.
It couldn't have happened to a better team and for the first time in a long while, Bostonians can see a division title within their desperate grasps.

Here's my downer...
My personal finance situation has reached a crisis point. I have absolutely no money which is something I knew would happen within a year after I returned to school.
But I was given certain assurances that help would be there, because I knew right away that financial aid through the school would not be enough.
Well, I found out today that that help is close to being cut off, so I went to financial aid on campus today to only find out that I am ineligible for any more financial aid, and I do not qualify for a low-interst private loan for reasons that were not made clear despite my multiple requests for clarification.
So I'm forced to goto Bank of America and inquire about their low-interest, student loans.
(Oh God, give me strength unless you're too busy telling Muslims to kill innocent people).
All this because California has become the worst place to live unless you bring in close to seven digits a year.

All of you fucking millionaires just had to come here and ruin it for the peaceful, local residents who had something close to paradise at a reasonable cost. But because you assholes can afford to spend $1.5 million for a house that costs $150,000 anywhere else and you do, legions of people that have lived here for a lot longer than you are forced to relocate to armpits like Riverside, San Bernardino and in the most dire of situations, Arizona.

My God, why is it that even if something is not broken, some folks feel the need to fix it?
Because people with financial clout feel the constant need to validate their miserable and shallow existences by taking advantage of the middle class; a group of individuals that rich fucks live and feed off of.

Here's my fantasy:
Another American revolution, led by the working class, blue collar warriors where they successfully reduce the controlling, upper 2% to a footnote in history textbooks; and from this war is born a society whose inhabitants are truly equal.
Nobody judges. People are not measured by wealth or power, but by tolerance and yes, indifference.
But it will never happen...
There are too many dumb-fucks, either blinded by the right or de-balled by the left, who feel that just because the USA is the best country to live in, there is no room or need for change.
They are content to live as sheep, herded by a handful of rich, white men whose idea of tolerance is a hot cattle prod up the butt of those who dare to ask if things can be better.

Well things can be better, but will never be. People as a species are just too stupid to want something better. Just keep enjoying the spoon-fed bullshit, you collection of gerbils.

With love and respect,

E-mail me:
or call my PhanFone hotline: 909-881-3654

Ta-ta kids.

Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Chipper Jones must die, soon!

Hey kids,
The Turzman here, and today I'm gonna rant about that piece of shit Atlanta Brave-prick,
"Larry" wood-Chipper Jones.
That rat bastard recently infested the world with another demon from his seed, and in an unsportsman-like fashion named the little bitch after his favorite stadium to play in, and the home of my beloved Mets, Shea Stadium.
(Link to the story-- )
It's bad enough that I must tolerate another losing season while those ass-master Braves take advantage of a shitty division (with a shitty team-if you think the Braves will pass the wildcard round this year, you're fucking looped)...
but I have to watch Larry add insult to injury by naming his spawn Shea? Let's be crystal clear about this, kids, he didn't do it out of respect for the rivalry, or even because he has more career home runs (17) at Shea than anywhere save Ted "Mr. Fonda" Turner Field.
Hey Larry, if you like Shea Stadium so much, why don't you see to it that you play there even more by demanding a trade to the Mets, or why didn't you sign a free-agent contract with them instead of the Braves?
Here's the answer--because you're a prickly piece of shit. It's not about respect for the Met-Brave rivalry, which is one of the best in baseball when the Mets can compete, or about Shea Stadium itself...but because you're a selfish, unsportsmanlike, butt bonging, pawn of Ted Turner-Fonda, and you did it to belittle the Mets and their fans.

Well congratulations, ass-face--you did it, mission accomplished, it was a success.

Hey Larry, do you know why birds fly upside-down when they fly over you?
Because you're not worth shitting on.

I'm actually drooling over the post season and I'm glad you and your fucking Braves will win the NL East because I can't wait to watch you assholes get eliminated in the best of five wildcard round by San Diego, the Cubbies, or whoever pulls it off.

Even better yet, Larry, why don't you die tomorrow? And on your way out, take that little rugrat with you. And everything else dear to you, for that matter. How worse can the world become if you meet your demise prematurely? Nobody outside of Atlanta that doesn't support the KKK would shed a bloody tear, believe me.

I hate you and all you represent, you Atlanta Brave, you.

Subject change...
In Coyote Athletics yesterday, women's soccer fell to Seattle University, 1-0 in the 53rd minute of the 90 minute contest. Oh well, good job, girls. In two games played, only one goal allowed.
That's a very promising start. It's gonna be a great season.

Now before I sign off, I feel I should apologize to some people about some of my Chipper-rant.
I said some things that surely come off as horrible and offensive, and I fully and most sincerely apologize to all offended with the exception of Atanta Brave fans and those who purposely refer to themselves as "Chipper".

And what the hell kind of a foo-foo nickname is "Chipper", anyway? It sounds like something a faggot might call his boyfriend during pillow-talk; all cuddly-wuddly in the middle of the night right after a romp of passionate and meaningful butt-sex.

Best regards to all, and I can only hope and pray that I'm in a better mood the next time I post.
And don't take any shit from anybody.


Monday, August 30, 2004

Coyote Soccer results

Hey kids,
The Turzman here with results from recent soccer matches, courtesy of Cal State, San Bernardino Director of Sports Information, Mike Murphy.

The men's team continued their winning ways by posting their second consecutive 1 - nil victory on Sunday, this time defeating Grand Canyon University in overtime.

Junior Brent Steele scored the winning goal as junior goalkeeper Jeff Canada posted another shutout.

The men travel again this weeked, heading north to the Sonoma State tournament where they will face Seattle Pacific September 4 and Western Washington September 6.

As for the women' team, at the time of this post the result of today's contest against Seattle University had not been released, so I'll put it up as soon as I know what happened. The ladies will travel to Humbolt State this weekend to compete in their annual tourney, and will face Western Oregon September 3 and host team Humbolt State on September 5.

For more info on all Coyote athletics, goto The Coyotes Online(

You can also contact me,
here you will find my e-mail addy and the number to
The Turzman PhanFone line. (I made that name up myself, please notice the witty mis-spelling).
Until next time, kiddies ta-ta & don't take any shit from anybody.


Sunday, August 29, 2004

Coyote Athletics update

Hey, kids...
The Turzman here to share the results of the first CSUSB athletic events of the new academic year:
Women's volleyball picked up right where they left off, dominating the UC San Diego tournament this past weekend.
The lady 'Yotes had little trouble, sweeping Western Washington and Seattle Pacific in best-of-five competition Friday night and sweeping Seattle University, 3-0 Saturday afternoon.
The first loss came by way of a 3-1 defeat at the hands of Barry University Saturday night.
Volleyball's first homestand will be this upcoming weekend, Sept. 3-4 for the annual Coyote Classic where the defending Pacific Region champion CSUSB Coyotes will face Abilene Christian, Minnesota-Mankato Friday and Fort Hayes State and Nebraska-Omaha on Saturday.
Hopefully, all four games will be broadcast live over Coyote Radio by yours truly,
In soccer this past weekend, new head coach Noah Kooiman tasted victory in his first two attempts as both the men's and women's teams were triumphant.
The men defeated Concordia-Irvine in a 1-nil nailbiter when freshman Lorenzo Loson received a pass from sophomore Nick Boyce and scored what would be the game winner.
The women dominated Westmount College, 3-nil on the strength of goals from senior Tommy Hart, sophomore Lauren Williams, and a goal from 18 yards out by all-CCAA defender Ashley Licata.
The Coyote defense was solid in front of freshman goalkeeper Leslie Rhoades, who was making her collegiate debut.
For more 411 on Coyote Athletics, goto and check out the press releases courtesy of CSUSB Sports Information Director Mike Murphy or keep checking right here periodically.
Thanks for sharing your time with me, shoot me an e-mail:
don't miss out on my show on Coyote Radio ( where audience participation is welcome.

Ta-ta for now, kiddies. Best regards, &
don't take any shit from anybody.