Friday, November 19, 2004

NFL picks, week 11

I'm coming off my worst week EVER. Just five wins.
Well I can't give up now because I'm due for a monster week.
So here we go for week 11, the usual rules apply.
Good luck.

St. Louis over BUFFALO *
Indianapolis over CHICAGO
CINCINNATI over Pittsburgh *
New York Jets over CLEVELAND *
MINNESOTA over Detroit *
Denver over NEW ORLEANS *
TAMPA BAY over San Francisco *
CAROLINA over Arizona *
Tennessee over JACKSONVILLE
BALTIMORE over Dallas
San Diego over OAKLAND
SEATTLE over Miami *
NEW YORK GIANTS over Atlanta *
PHILADELPHIA over Washington
Green Bay over HOUSTON

And Monday NIght, I'm going with the home underdog. If KC loses, I'll blame Wes!!
KANSAS CITY over New England *
Tie breaking point combo, 67.

Good luck handicappers.
Check out yesterday's post for an update on The Rubber Script.


Thursday, November 18, 2004

The Rubber Script

Hey kids...
I got some good news and some bad news this week.
For those of you that religiously follow my blogs (HA!), you may remember that i auditioned for host of an upcoming TV show called "The Lower Level."
Well, I didn't get the part.
You may also remember that I was hired to write a script for a public service announcement about condom use. Well, my script was so beloved that it was upgraded from PSA to commercial. So after a quick re-write, casting began this week and I auditioned for a part.
I will play "Mighty Man" who is the spokesman for Mighty Man Condoms.
Hey- don't laugh. It's a living.
Shooting begins this Sunday.

I'll post my football picks tomorrow because I have not finished handicapping yet.
In the meantime, here are some oldies but goodies...

The nationally televised Ashlee Simpson screw up is here...

The infamous Yankee fan video is still the most popular here at Turzman Central. It is here...
This guy rocks- "You have bad taste in music!"

And don't forget to visit the lovely lady-The Great White Shark at the Monterey Bay Aquarium...

Here's a funny short film about two urine sample cups...

Frank Sinatra returns from the dead to sing about racial profiling.
Warning: If you are easily offended, don't click here-

I've been receiving some great e-mails from people to read over my radio show. Keep 'em coming kids. Tune into Coyote Radio and catch me live every Tuesday from 2-4 pm pacific.

E-mail me at

Be sure to visit eBaum soon, he posts new content every Friday.

And here's something for you trekkies. This is VERY hot, and not for anyone under 18 years old.

Enjoy! c-ya 'round da hood, kiddies.
You should live & be well.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Coyote Athletics & other stuff

Hey kids...

Big doin's in Coyote sports this coming weekend.
First of all, we here at Turzman Central want to salute cross country runner, Tanya Zeferjahn.
She is the first runner in the history of CSUSB cross country to qualify for the NCAA national championship. She placed fourth overall last weekend in Washington and will travel this weekend to Indiana to compete against the best in the nation in division II cross country.
For the story, goto
Tanya, here is the Turzman's official congrats...
"Jumpin' je-hosefat, yeHAAA!"
You're welcome.

Women's volleyball is going to the NCAA Pacific Region tournament for the 5th consecutive year.
It will be in LaJolla at the RIMAC Arena on the UC San Diego campus.
Coyote Radio will not broadcast the games because it conflicts with my school schedule, so I apologize. However, CSUSB Sports Information Director Mike Murphy has informed me that UCSD will have a webpage devoted to the tourney...
Let's hope they handle this website better than the webcast they tried a couple of weeks ago.
Their failure at that makes me think the UCSD computer people can foul up a free lunch.
Anyway, good luck to women's volleyball, who sqare off against Cal Poly Pomona on Thursday at 2:30 pm, pacific.

Here's something for my fellow editors at the Coyote Chronicle staff...
Last week, executive editor Jason Haney took a bite of a piece of sour candy and made this face...
Someone just happened to have a camera.
Well, the photo made its way through Adobe Photoshop and back to me.
Here was the first return, that suggested that Haney was a freedom fighter who barely escaped execution in Vietnam.
This next one captures the wisdom that every executive editor should have. Presenting, Zen Master Jason...

ANyone can feel free to download the original, alter it, and send it back to me. If it doesn't suck, I'll post it.

E-mail me:

I'll have my football picks later this week.

Before I leave, here's a quote from Tony Coors of 00 Distributing:

"If you find yourself in a meeting where someone annoys you or pisses you off, here is the perfect slam:
I don't know what's wrong with you, but I'm sure it's hard to pronounce."

"What am I? Flypaper for stupid people? Why don't you idiots get away from me?!?!"
Thanks Tony.

Catch ya later kids.
Live long and prosper. (All praise due to Spock).


Sunday, November 14, 2004

Mike Piazza to Angels? Good riddance.

Hey kids...
There is a surprisingly large amount of teams interested in trading with the Mets for Mike Piazza. Well, only two.
Last week the Dodgers expressed interest, and now the Angels want him as full time DH and part time catcher/first baseman.
Link to story-

I say a lot because two teams is two more teams than I thought would have interest in "Pizza."
The Dodgers were willing to part with Shawn "who needs him" Green, but reportedly the Angels are offering Jose Guillen and Jarrod Washburn or Ramon Ortiz.
The Mets should jump all over this opportunity.
If there is somebody actually willing to trade for a washed-up, broken down catcher, do it.
Put a gun to the Pizza-man's head and force him to waive that stupid no-trade clause.
Let him lose somewhere else while the Mets rebuild with a new GM and a new attitude.

Send comments to or call 909-881-3654.

I'm off to watch more football kids,
you should live and be well.