Saturday, February 05, 2011

Tales from the PRON Shop (safe)

It has been way too long since I shared the cummings of life in the Wahiawa Porn Shop with you, but the fact is, not much has been happening in the past months. Literally.

Sales have plummeted since the autumn. Christmas came and went where we saw a slight increase in the hump on the bar graph, but it was not as high as it should have been.
January was a figurative dead zone, despite a 40% sale off ALL merchandise. Scary rumors were rampant and morale was low.

Welcome, February! Here and now, in the early dawn of 2011's Valentine Season, something has changed; LOVE appears to be in the air. A shallow, quickie, one night of just a lil fun love, but love nonetheless. Thanks to young couples in love and gaggles of lonely soldiers this Friday and Saturday has been my personal best, 2-day sales period since joining the Divine Pleasures Ohana.

With one day left in the weekend and still another week before that bastard Cupid crawls out of his hole to look for his shadow, I expect this to be a monster week in sales. Thank God for the universal concept of horny. We are all horny and should act accordingly.

In celebration of this Valentine season, I would like to add another gem to my collection of Girls I really, really wanna have sex with, but who wouldn't gallery. The super-duper, mega lovely and talented India Summer...

India Summer can be seen in the upcoming Star Trek: The Next Generation: A XXX Parody and this is one of the strongest infatuations I have ever had. Next time you're on Facebook, check out her fan page as well as the Divine Pleasures fan page.

Until next time, stay horny because it's a sign that you're still alive. Support your local PRON shop. Porn is a beautiful thing.

Amity Island Harbor Master Frank Silva says, "Damn ye, Turz. If yer still gonna watch that filth at least write ye movie reviews and post pictures for the deviant vermin that peruse ye scurvy blog."
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